It's that time of year again.

Forums › General Discussion › It's that time of year again.

🇮🇱Tinea🦶Pedis🇮🇱 Jan 26, 2015

After filing his tax return this year, Duair received a better with a summons to appear in regards apparent discrepancies. "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable."

"I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Duair. "How about a demonstration?"

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead."

Duair says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye."

The auditor thinks a moment and says, "No way! It's a bet."

Duair removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops. Duair says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye."

The auditor can tell Duair isn't blind, so he takes the bet.

Duair removes his dentures and bites his good eye. The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Duair's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.
🇮🇱Tinea🦶Pedis🇮🇱 Jan 26, 2015

"Want to go double or nothing?" Duair asks. "I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and piss clean into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between."

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this guy can manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Duair stands beside the desk and unzips his pants. With hose in hand, Duair gives a mighty push and thrust but alas never even comes close and urinates all over the desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Duair's attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.

"Are you okay?" the auditor asks.

"Not really," says the attorney. "This morning, when Duair told me he'd been summonsed for an audit, he bet me twenty thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all over your desk AND that you'd be happy about it."
§LY Jan 26, 2015

Rofl!! Thats classic!
⚸яѻɢɛʀ✞тɦǟȶ⛧ Jan 26, 2015

Duair, you devil!
Ojibwe Jan 26, 2015

I think i first heard that about 40 years ago. But it's still a good one. :)
◾️〓MOOSΞKILL〓◾️ Jan 26, 2015

😜😜😜
ᏰᏝᏫᎧᎠᎽ☠ᵑᵒᵐᵅᵈ༤ Jan 26, 2015

Nice one Duair 👍
💀💣CaptCalhoun💀💣 Jan 26, 2015

My God, a classy man at long last!!
LaTortuga Jan 26, 2015

Nice! Made me laugh. 👍🐢
༺ ᗪᗰᒪ ༻ Jan 26, 2015

Thanks for the Monday morning laugh 👍👍
〓K Я A M P U S〓 Jan 26, 2015

😂😂😂😂😂😂
Larsioso Jan 26, 2015

😂😂😂👍
TͣΛͩZͩ Jan 26, 2015

Classic 😂😂😂😂🍻
〓ＤＵ♠️ＩＲ〓 Jan 26, 2015

😂 awesome, think I dropped my eye
〓ᴇɭ ᴛꀤɳꀤʘ〓 Jan 29, 2015

Just read this and I actually lol. 😂😂 Thankfully I was sat in the car on my own!
✞€ℍ₳ℙ╚₳ł₦✞ Feb 17, 2015

👌 a perfect laugh in a time such as this😂😂😂