🏰 The TW CITY 🏰
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We ordered our food and waited,looking around in the meantime.Not far off Midnite was in animate discussion with himself.A deep voice answered a sibilant protest,to be both hushed by a thin reedy voice of reason.Giving up trying to decipher the colloquy,our victual arrived and we dined like kings and,without hesitation,left a handsome gratuity.
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Another great post!
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Everywhere in the city you will be reminded of the presence of the law of the land.Agents of order are known as the MODS but are rarely seen.Rather their work is evident.Punishments could be banishment from the city or a temporary stay in the stocks,the removing of tongues,pillories at regular intervals (fruit and veg sellers usually wheel their unsold stuff here to do a booming trade),players stripped naked and left to hang on creaking ropes to help them reflect on their errant ways.Crimes include fraud,over-foul language and 'spoofing' to name but a few.Agents are aided in their business by anonymous reports sent to their offices from both victims and criers alike.One could be easily turned in by his/her neighbour.Many cases however are dealt by mobs who chase their victim and deal out their own justice.
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A long serpentine line stretched from the museum of the city.We stood in line but Suga Danio was restless (his mood wasn't helped by the apparent 'starching' of many of his prize deck of cards that sported boobs on the reverse side).He tripped a passing player who fell headlong into a group of fresh faced undersized players.Suga's voice rang clear and true,"He hopped the queue!".Despite the victim's protests,some bigger people grabbed him by the back of his cloth jacket and lifted him off of the ground but he squirmed free leaving his jacket in their hands and ran with a loping gait with quick glances over his shoulders from the scene.The crowd turned angry and gave chase with pitchforks magically appearing.And so we moved freely forward towards the museum doors.
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Monuments and statues representing players lined both sides of a great oval front hall with busts of the city founders taking pride of place in the centre.We opted to wander about this pantheon of legends and images without the guide-service.Great rugs softened our footfalls as we walked and paused to stare in fascination upon richly woven tapestries,an array of striking wood panels as well as scores of paintings that hung from the walls:folk of the now,folk who came and went,folk from a bygone era.Fascinating episodes in the life of TW,images of the earliest players to settle in what was once a mere hamlet were on view.The images of victorious armies who had swept the enemy before them,retreating powers who fled the wrath of conquerors,the founding of empires,the rise and fall of alliances painted on vast stretches of canvas were all depicted.So too were lighter scenes such as "Primo locked" with a toilet in the background,to dastardly ones such as "Hank fakes death".
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Players,whom I failed to remember or recognise,and who had dropped into oblivion hung alongside known personages.Glowering faces and stared out at us as if in challenge whilst thoughtful faces appeared to consider us.Here towered a massive figure with arms outstretched,pleading for clemency,and there a triptych showing a player in discussion with a crowd on the left,being shielded by a toothless dandy from the baying crowd on the right,and being stoned by the same crowd and the would-be protector in the said crowd preparing to cast the first stone.A diptych showing a female on the right hand panel and the same player unmasked as a man on the other.We must have been inside for a long time as On leaving,we were surprised to discover a diminishing ribbon of light in the sky.
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Vish, your vocabulary and flow of sentences are outstanding, a real talented tongue, hope your writing skills have been appreciated in RL books.
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😄😄😄👏👏👏👏
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I awoke under a coat on a lime-green divan the next morning.I sat up slowly,rubbed my head which ached dully.Across the room my friends sat nursing their own heads.Saelo rose to her feet and came over,giving me a glass of water.Vague memories of conversation and images flashed in my poor brain of the night before:congratulatory parties,talk of Bermudan money,books concerning rape and lust and Kilgore walking around with an abacus and notepad cursing a loss of data.I slowly sat up and supped on the proffered water.Saelo had found us prostrated,cross-eyed,and covered in grey sudsy wash-water under a window of a local public bath for the fairer sex.
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Once fed and watered we left her tower, and at once I noticed a mound of rubble in a pool of faecal water where once my great friend Rudge had a mighty tower.An outhouse stood in its place with the odd shout of "occupied" from within.Rudge yet majestically laboured.We flagged down a rickshaw pulled by the good Xoobang.Despite his looks of despair,we all clambered aboard the cart and bade to be brought to the the Vulvetta district.Xoobang's lips and arms stretched yet he kept a firm grip on the bars as he took off on bandy legs whilst Saelo searched in vain for a whip.
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The End...?
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The Vendetta district is town in itself,home to the great Yawn Towers and The Garter.The streets,heavily pot-holed,are choked with refuse and debris,rivulets of offal and sump water. Little care has been given to the aesthetic appeal of ramshackle constructions made from a mix of straw,clay,gun-powder,seashells,dung,discarded garments and animal or human hair which are usually built within a day and burnt down in a lot less.
Yet,curiosity itself,one might be surprised to see its inhabitants carry themselves with a certain hauteur and arrogant strut,swaggering but wilfully ignorant to the fact that he or she may be foul-smelling and filthy.They speak in plaintive cries,begging you one minute for help and cursing you the next,professing a contempt for authority in many cases and a rash disregard for the consequences.Yet there is the odd earnest seeker of help who avoiding humiliation and coarse language is spared and adopted by a patron. -
I AM NOW THE TRUSTY RICKSHAW-MAN!
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xoobang wrote:
Who said anything about trusty? I asked you to let me off 2 miles ago!I AM NOW THE TRUSTY RICKSHAW-MAN!
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"The end?",queried King of Chaos to our taxi man.Noting our blank looks of bewilderment he continued,"End of the line?". We alighted from the rickshaw and Xoobang sped off back along the way somewhat nervously with the relieved King as his passenger.
The day was early with an early haze and only a handful of tourists were already abroad.Near a small group of early or late-night revellers were absorbed in the eating of pancakes and waffles.Ladies and Lords,with the promise of drama,started to arrive.Roger greeted us and invited to take us around,briefing us on the better entertainments to be enjoyed that day. He pointed out to sandy arenas and glass enclosures that were soon to be occupied.He led us away,chuckling and speaking of "hotspots" when we were distracted by a commotion.An unlooked-for flare of anger.Sidetracked but delighted we gained an advantageous spot to view a street battle. -
"Help!",came the plea.The word came from a jaundiced faced youth with ears sprouting from the top of his head and wearing a homemade suit of armour.
He was asked to provide more information,"Fuck off if your (sic) not going to help".
"Was it aliens?",asked m00sekill.
"Mob up",piped up Kickmeface.
"I spit on the tips of your knobs yez c**ts",vowed the rabble knight dressed in quasi period dress in a pair of sneakers."I'll fuck ye upeth and be home supping on cocks by nightfall yez c**nts!".
"That escalated quickly",laughed CopperTop,clinking his bottle of beer with Those around him,"He would seem that he doth be twitching to ram his trusty staff up ye olde quivering mudflap of kind Apple Juice".
"I'll,I'll snatch off that red hairpiece you wear so brazenly",the would-be knight retaliated,pointing to Copper's luscious curls.He turned around and lifted a soiled flap exposing a scrawny,gurgling pus-ridden shank. -
Copper took a prudent step back,which invited a cacophony of whistles and great belches redolent of stale beer and bile from the offensive youth's groupies.A sneaker suddenly swung up which Copper seized and twisted to leave it hanging so as to take on the appearance of a wet sock.Now hobbling,the livid red-faced youth launched himself at Copper who easily sidestepped,caught and yanked hard on the passing greasy top knot of hair to send Doom crashing headlong into a bucket of slops.
Sitting up he began to curse the audience,accusing them of having no life.Uttering foul things against their dear mothers,his eyes futilely sought out his friends.He began to drag himself away but now others wanted a slice of the cake, so to speak.
Turns were taken from the crowd to elicit squeals from Doom's drawn lips,but the crowd were disappointed to be treated to mere pitiful moans which only incensed them.Their vindictive curses ringing loud in Doom's ears. -
The report of released bowels only incensed them to even greater levels of playful jousting until one noticed spillage upon his trainer which enraged him so,that he slapped his armoured hand down upon the obstreperous hams".Finally sated,the crowd moved off to other attractions,leaving the bruised Doom to scuttle away crabwise muttering,"c**nthooks"at their departing backs.
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Rickshawmen!
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Luigi Nicholas hastened us to join him as he entered a makeshift theatre of sorts.Within the drama was just beginning to unfold.A gaunt fellow with a military officer's cap hung rakishly past one ear stood accused of terrorising bully tactics in which he'd snatch monies and land from small landholders.These acts of pillaging and looting only came to light when he covetously fingered then raided holdings that were being taxed by some lords.
General John,his face turgid and blotched,spat curses at a figure sitting down across from him.It was only when he threw a flip-flop did the figure draw himself up.The general balled his small fists and stirred uneasily.With feeble bravado,he continued to curse claiming that his adversary had despoiled his ill-begotten gains. -
Mouth compressed,LeSarge drew himself up,expanded his great chest and in two great hops launched himself,arms making great circular sweeps,at the now ashen faced general.The blows struck true like slabs of beef dropped onto a wooden block.Down went the general like a sack of spuds.Legs apart and arms hanging by his side,LeSarge towered over the crumpled form.
General John's mouth parts worked noiselessly and his pummelled eyes worked into focus.He dragged himself up,paused in reflection and looked around at the pressed faces of the crowd as if for the first time.FUBAR bent forward and whispered into his ear.A light,not previously present,shone in John's eyes.A realisation dawned upon his person.He opened his mouth to speak but LeSarge jabbed and pummelled his nose.Bloodied,John spoke up,"I deserved this and now see that my vision was askew and would like to warn others against my past wicked ways". -
"They said that I had skulked about their tenements wearing a ski-mask.They said that I was in their mob,I was helping them,and they said that I had made off with their abundant bounty of loot.Now,incredulously,they seek an accounting!".
Luigi Nicholas stared at him with a casual interest,"They also said you called them "redneck knob-noshers who duelled on more than their banjos".
A calculating look passed briefly over the small pinched the face of Infinity Boss,"Yes,yes,that I may have said".After the briefest of pauses,he continued,"Their concepts and wishes ran at odds with my own.I was removed and they gave chase.GAVE CHASE!",whimpering now he fought back the tears,"I was trying to outdistance myself from them.But evasion was impossible.Must I reveal all for their foul gloating?!". -
Paying no heed to the snot-filled babbling,Luigi returned his notepad to his pocket,"Let us concern ourselves with my recompense,the value of my sage advice."
"Wait you arrogant knob-demon.Sage advice?! What council have you imparted"?His face grew more animate and finger stabbed the air like a conductor directing a orchestra,"YOU haven't even heard MY story:the degradations,the midnight ambushes,the use of erotic stimuli.The vagueness of your "sage advice" must smell of fart" for you have..",here Luigi slashed the air to cut off the stream of words. -
He turned and fixed Infinity with a glare of disturbing intensity,"You have spoken at length yet I am none the wiser.You have affronted my sensibilities.My long years of training and expertise must exact a premium price and you must multiple the gratuity you have in mind by three.I warn you to listen to these words and pay accordingly without a trace of humour.Your welfare hinges upon this.Do I make myself clear?".
Noting the quality of the words,Infinity disregarded the first answer to come to his mind,"As clear as the brook that runs by Offal lane".
The price of four 'flowers' and a 138 was finally reached.
"Dialogue certainly helps",I said to no one in particular. -
No comment master vish, except for:
Keep going my man 😜
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🏃💨fartex💩 wrote:
👍👍👍👍No comment master vish, except for:
Keep going my man 😜
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👏👏👏👏 I hope it never ends!!
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Killer the Carl wrote:
👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍🏃💨fartex💩 wrote:
👍👍👍👍No comment master vish, except for:
Keep going my man 😜
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👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
😼BC
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No sojourn to the Vulvetta district is complete without a visit to Yawn towers.Indeed,Charlie was quite adamant that we must visit as he had some pressing paperwork to do there.On the way we encountered a 6 piece orchestra of sorts,led by Cancer,crowded upon the heavily perspiring Xoobang's rickshaw and an accompanying group of merry dancers.Seeing our difficulty in passing through this street pageant,Blames kindly began to wave a sheaf of DP points just beyond Xoobang's nose.Licking his lips rapidly,xoobang made a herculean effort to move the heavily laden contrivance,deaf to the initial toots of protest from the band.But the dancers followed bent-kneed and twirling,executing jumps and swirls with high kicks and swinging arms so as to render the exercise useless.Dragon,rapt in concentration,moved his arms and fingers as if playing an imaginary electric guitar.Attending to his 'air-guitar' he lost himself in the rhythm and was soon on his knees with back touching the ground and face contorted in ecstasy.
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