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Best ways to butter a muffin.

• Johnny O 💃 Dec 10, 2013

  All responses please reply with step by step instructions.
  Step 1)...
  Step 2)....
  Step 3)....
• The"Accountant" Dec 10, 2013

  Step 1) Get a female friend
  Step 2) Google Soggy muffin
  Step 3) "Butter the Muffin"
  Step 4) Enjoy

  Am I doing this right?
• Dj Madman Dec 10, 2013

  Johnny O 💃 wrote:

  All responses please reply with step by step instructions.
  Step 1)....Copious amounts of wine
  Step 2)....Sleeping pills
  Step 3)....Lube
  

  Or are we talking about muffins of the breaded variety?
• Johnny O 💃 Dec 10, 2013

  Dj Madman wrote:

  Johnny O 💃 wrote:

  All responses please reply with step by step instructions.
  Step 1)....Copious amounts of wine
  Step 2)....Sleeping pills
  Step 3)....Lube
  

  Or are we talking about muffins of the breaded variety?
  

  We are talking small, medium and large size muffins.
• Johnny O 💃 Dec 10, 2013

  DJ!!!! No filling in my answers lmao! 😜
• Dj Madman Dec 10, 2013

  Johnny O 💃 wrote:

  DJ!!!! No filling in my answers lmao! 😜
  

  Damn I wanted to be lazy! Haha

  If we are talking small, medium and large sized muffins then this could alter the steps somewhat!

  Step 1) copious amounts of wine
  Step 2) sleeping pills
  Step 3) truck load of lube (if small muffin)
  Step 3) a tube of lube (if medium muffin)
  Step 3) no lube but you may need some wadding (if large muffin)

  Is that better JO? Hahah
• Johnny O 💃 Dec 10, 2013

  Step 1) remove the top
  Step 2) check to see if warm (cold muffins are bad)
  Step 3) Evenly coat the muffin with your butter.
• Dj Madman Dec 10, 2013

  Johnny O 💃 wrote:

  Step 1) remove the top
  Step 2) check to see if warm (cold muffins are bad)
  Step 3) Evenly coat the muffin with your butter.
  

  Cold muffins can soon be warmed up tho!
• ★THΞ WЯΛTH★ Dec 10, 2013

  Johnny O 💃 wrote:

  All responses please reply with step by step instructions.
  Step 1)...pull it out
  Step 2)....butter it right in the middle
  Step 3)....rub it all over
  
• 🇮🇱Tinea🦶Pedis🇮🇱 Dec 10, 2013

  Are we talking Hole muffin or muffin tops only?
• Johnny O 💃 Dec 10, 2013

  Sabasaul wrote:

  Are we talking Hole muffin or muffin tops only?
  

  How you eat your muffin is entirely a different question.
• 💩💩ᎡᏌᎠᏀᏓᏣᏌᎦ💩💩 Dec 10, 2013

  I'm unsure why sized bakery goods has become sexualised..you won't catch me joining in your childish ways
• ★Λddi★ Dec 10, 2013

  Oh you have to open up the cap and then put the butter in all over. Don't just squirt it on top. That's asinine! 🙊
• ★Λddi★ Dec 10, 2013

  Johnny O 💃 wrote:

  Step 1) remove the top
  Step 2) check to see if warm (cold muffins are bad)
  Step 3) Evenly coat the muffin with your butter.
  

  Lol now I'm just reading the answers. Great minds. 😝
• ★ʗℝ₳ℤㄚℝㅌⅆℕⅇʗҜ★ Dec 10, 2013

  Step 1) pick up Sunday paper (preferably the coupon section)
  Step 2) find the best deal for the exact butter product you're looking for
  Step 3) clip coupon and proceed to shopping center honoring coupon
  Step 4) walk normally to the dairy aisle (try not to make a scene)
  Step 5) locate "I can't believe it's not butter" (spray)
  Step 6) purchase product (don't forget to display coupon)
  Step 7) reverse traveling to return back to where muffins original location
  Step 8) prepare muffin to desired likeness
  Step 9) using both hands tear muffin into 2 equil halves
  Step 10) set muffin back down
  Step 11) pick up I can believe it's not butter (spray)
  Step 12) tear off cellophane from around the spray area of the bottle
  Step 13) pick up both halves of muffin and pump I can't believe it's not butter (spray) to desired tasteness (spraying each half evenly)
  Step 14) put both halves back together. 🙆🙆🙆
• Ꭱ3V Dec 11, 2013

  ★Λddi★ wrote:

  Oh you have to open up the cap and then put the butter in all over. Don't just squirt it on top. That's asinine! 🙊
  

  Agreed. Squirting it inside is much more preferable.
• ★COVΛH★ Dec 11, 2013

  ༺☠ᏩɌ༏M༏Ɲ∆L☠༻ wrote:

  ★Λddi★ wrote:

  Oh you have to open up the cap and then put the butter in all over. Don't just squirt it on top. That's asinine! 🙊
  

  Agreed. Squirting it inside is much more preferable.

  Only if you want to make a whole batch tho! 😜
• ᎷᎪᏟᏦᎷᎬᏟᎻ ᎪᎠᎠ ᏦᎷ Dec 11, 2013

  ★COVΛH★ wrote:

  ༺☠ᏩɌ༏M༏Ɲ∆L☠༻ wrote:

  ★Λddi★ wrote:

  Oh you have to open up the cap and then put the butter in all over. Don't just squirt it on top. That's asinine! 🙊
  

  Agreed. Squirting it inside is much more preferable.

  Only if you want to make a whole batch tho! 😜
  

  MUOSU! 😜
• LaTortuga Dec 11, 2013

  Geez eat the muffin and throw the butter away!
• WEAPØN Dec 11, 2013

  My muffin opinion changed drastically as I cast my widened eyes upon the various crude (though mayhap well-designed) comments and jibes contained in this innocently titled list of literary verbalisations.
• ♠️ADD TURFA♠️ Dec 11, 2013

  WEAPØN wrote:

  My muffin opinion changed drastically as I cast my widened eyes upon the various crude (though mayhap well-designed) comments and jibes contained in this innocently titled list of literary verbalisations.
  

  Well said, whoever you are.
• ᎠR☠ULZᎽ✯И~山~Я✧ Dec 11, 2013

  Some people... some people like cupcakes exclusively, while myself, I say there is naught nor ought there be nothing so exalted on the face of gods grey Earth as that prince of foods... the muffin!

  I butter mine late at night under my desk.
• ᎠR☠ULZᎽ✯И~山~Я✧ Dec 11, 2013

  Sorry
  1) wait till it's late and your wife is asleep
  2) sit at your desk
  3) butter your muffin
• Doom Giver Dec 11, 2013

  I prefer to put cheddar cheese on the muffin and toast it in the oven 👍
• WEAPØN Dec 11, 2013

  ulyanov wrote:

  Some people... some people like cupcakes exclusively, while myself, I say there is naught nor ought there be nothing so exalted on the face of gods grey Earth as that prince of foods... the muffin!

  I butter mine late at night under my desk.
  

  Woah people we have a vishbume wannabe right here!

  😜Weapøn™👍
• ★IИDY PΛCΞЯS★ Dec 11, 2013

  How do I prevent mini muffins?
• 〓ＤＥＲＥＬＩＣＴ〓 Dec 11, 2013

  ulyanov wrote:

  Some people... some people like cupcakes exclusively, while myself, I say there is naught nor ought there be nothing so exalted on the face of gods grey Earth as that prince of foods... the muffin!

  I butter mine late at night under my desk.
  

  Frank Zappa is the best!
• 〓FitzWilliam〓 Dec 11, 2013

  I don't have anything witty to say, but this is the best thread in a while!
• 4nick8r Dec 11, 2013

  ༺☠ᏩɌ༏M༏Ɲ∆L☠༻ wrote:

  ★Λddi★ wrote:

  Oh you have to open up the cap and then put the butter in all over. Don't just squirt it on top. That's asinine! 🙊
  

  Agreed. Squirting it inside is much more preferable.

  The only reason to squirt butter on top of a muffin is if you are filming yourself buttering a muffin. If you are buttering a muffin for personal enjoyment then the butter is much better on the inside.
• Schmidty Dec 11, 2013

  WEAPØN wrote:

  My muffin opinion changed drastically as I cast my widened eyes upon the various crude (though mayhap well-designed) comments and jibes contained in this innocently titled list of literary verbalisations.
  

  Oh Weapon, why would you ever think a post from JO about muffins would be innocent!
  All this talk of muffins is draining my willpower. Alas, I'm dieting unfortunately!
• WEAPØN Dec 12, 2013

  Schmidty wrote:

  WEAPØN wrote:

  My muffin opinion changed drastically as I cast my widened eyes upon the various crude (though mayhap well-designed) comments and jibes contained in this innocently titled list of literary verbalisations.
  

  Oh Weapon, why would you ever think a post from JO about muffins would be innocent!
  All this talk of muffins is draining my willpower. Alas, I'm dieting unfortunately!

  I'm not Weapon. I am somebody else. Some people know who I am ... but do you? The clues are in the puddin', so to speak. 😏

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