Mitch Hedberg

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٥ه༜ه٥ Oct 5, 2013

Fuck you! No way am I making a banana bread, pastrami, cottage cheese sandwich! RIP Mitch.
ཛམར། ཛཀཥརཞཇ 🔨🔥💀 Oct 5, 2013

I told the crowd to fuck off last night, then I felt bad. So I told them to fuck back on
Scarbutt Oct 5, 2013

If I had a nickel for every time I said that, I'd be making money in a very unusual way.
The Gipper Oct 7, 2013

I'm friends with Mitch's old manager. The stories he'd tell of trying to straighten him up before a show. That dude could hang.

Regale In Partying, Mitch.
Babyyy Oct 8, 2013

I believe a duck's opinion of me is highly influenced by whether or not I have bread
MͣAͩUͩLER Oct 8, 2013

Babyyy wrote:
I believe a duck's opinion of me is highly influenced by whether or not I have bread

or quackers
Ꭱ3V Oct 8, 2013

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just gonna ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.
☠ðůﾅ⌖ʟḁẘ☠ Oct 8, 2013

⌖🔥CYRUS🔥⌖ wrote:
The FedEx driver is a drug dealer and he don't even know it.

Lol 😂😂😂
ཛམར། ཛཀཥརཞཇ 🔨🔥💀 Oct 8, 2013

I collect stamps. The easiest way to build your collection is not to mail shit.

"hey, how's that stamp collection coming?"

"Pretty good, ever since I stopped coresponding with you"
4nick8r Oct 25, 2013

I don't have a girlfriend; I just have a girl that would be really pissed off if she heard me say that.
Zetta Oct 28, 2013

I was offered a frozen banana, I said no. Then I said yes, because I may want a regular banana later.

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