USA PART TWO/ZWEI

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ɆͣƉͩƉͩ∙∘💥🔫ᏚℍʘŦ Nov 4, 2012

"Europe English"
ɆͣƉͩƉͩ∙∘💥🔫ᏚℍʘŦ Nov 4, 2012

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five year phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.
ɆͣƉͩƉͩ∙∘💥🔫ᏚℍʘŦ Nov 4, 2012

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru! And zen world!
████ⓙʘⓔ████ Nov 4, 2012

lol somehow i understood every word of that
ꍏꀸꀸ😈ꌗ.ꀤ.ꈤ😈 Nov 4, 2012

Genius 😈👍
『тӈԑ•ʟɛɢɪɵɳ』 Nov 4, 2012

Dafuq did I just read
Alexei Nov 4, 2012

I've seen this see here before on FB and the internet
ZRAYGO Nov 4, 2012

Alexei wrote:
I've seen this see here before on FB and the internet

Well then, you are special!
ɆͣƉͩƉͩ∙∘💥🔫ᏚℍʘŦ Nov 4, 2012

Sorry if you have seen it before but tied in with the better USA GD forum post

As zis is de Englenders worzt nightmare as v are speaking ze deutsche before v nowz zit - Das ist nichtz zu gut yah - arghh 😳😳😳 lol

And you Americans aren't immune, as per original post, as you rejoin the commonwealth (lol) the European Union will force it on you too - lol 🇩🇪🇩🇪🇩🇪🇩🇪🇩🇪🇩🇪🇩🇪🇩🇪
Ꭱ3V Nov 4, 2012

Alexei wrote:
I've seen this see here before on FB and the internet

Congratufuckinlations!
Alexei Nov 4, 2012

Oh I wasn't trying to be critical...I think it's funny! 😁
Sorry if you all took my comment that way 😜
ʗɛяέąƖ~ཞɛϮĭཞέⅅ Nov 4, 2012

ZRAYGO wrote:
Alexei wrote:
I've seen this see here before on FB and the internet

Well then, you are special!
Me too
I want a cookie🍪🍪
Jack Aubrey Nov 5, 2012

What's wrong with German? It's the only language where the words are so long they have perspective....
Şρïɖȩɾ ꒱.ｏ Nov 5, 2012

Sehr gut, I hav already developed an acent.