My life has forever changed.
Forums › General Discussion › My life has forever changed.-
Today was one of the most emotional days I ever had with myself and my parents.
To start off a few of you may know that I was excepting a Devorce/separation between my parents. Well that is actually offical and true. I don't really know how it will turn out, but I believe I'll be living with my mother.
But that's not the biggest part. The biggest part is that I figured out the secret my parents, and several others have been keeping from me.
It turns out my dad (the one I live with) is not my really biological father. Which really explains a lot. My real father is a guy a Sweden my mother was dating before she meet my dad. She was already pregnant when they got separated and my mom moved to America and married my dad.
"it's a choice I regret, your real father is a great man" that's what my mom told me when she finally told me the 15 year secret. -
Whoa.
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Killer Khalsa wrote:
Ya. Sorry man that's alot to take in.Whoa.
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I really don't know what will happen. Nor do I know my she didn't tell me before.
They got separated because they lost contact because the guy had to go to Africa for a year. They found each other 5 years ago and are writing to each other. The man his name is "Christer" or something like that. Christer is already married, but he still asks my mom about me. I'm not sure if I will ever see him.... I hope I do... He seems like a better father than the one I have now. -
Wow. Not an easy situation but I wish you luck.
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I'll be praying for you, buddy. ✊
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It'll be alright bud:) Just keep climbing and you'll be fine:)
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Smoke some bud and than call me and I'll del. u some oranges🍻
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She probably didn't tell u for a few reasons. First that's a lot for a child to have to take in. I personally think its better to wait and tell the kid when they're around your age. And if this guy was going to be fathering you anyways, why tell u something that could make u feel like there is a void in your life.
If I can remember ill keep you in my prayers bud. You're a good kid. I'm sorry u have to go through a divorce. That stuff can be really rough.
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Wow, that is a lot. That is pretty hard to go through and I wish you the best of luck in handling it 👍
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Stay strong 👊
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☣ 🎸ӈɪƖƖßıƖƖγ🎸☣ wrote:
👍Stay strong 👊
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the guy who brought you up may not be your biological father, but he did raise you, and that counts for something. don't completely lose contact with him. as a child of a split family, good luck, you will survive it
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How old are you?
I think if I was in your situation I'd fly to Sweden asap... Certainly since your dad is still asking about you. Seems like he really wants to get to know you. -
Ronster wrote:
I'm guessing 15How old are you?
I think if I was in your situation I'd fly to Sweden asap... Certainly since your dad is still asking about you. Seems like he really wants to get to know you. -
🌀💉JUNKIE💉🌀 wrote:
Ah now I read again I'm guessing the same 😉Ronster wrote:
I'm guessing 15How old are you?
I think if I was in your situation I'd fly to Sweden asap... Certainly since your dad is still asking about you. Seems like he really wants to get to know you. -
Life has a habit of throwing curve balls when you least expect it.
The true measure of any person is how you deal with it.
Your mother had her reasons for keeping the secret, but if you choose to, you now have an opportunity to get to know your real father.
I'm sure you'll know when the time is right, but try not to leave it too long.
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Get his email addr, make a video for him and upload to YouTube, send him or have your mom send home the link. Tell him about yourself, keep a positive tone in the vid. And when you go to Sweden, remember to plant a 1 pin at the airport 👍. GL
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🌀💉JUNKIE💉🌀 wrote:
I actually am 15 years old. Idk when I can see him, money is tight on our side but he seems fine on his side. I will try to get an email when my mom comes home.Ronster wrote:
I'm guessing 15How old are you?
I think if I was in your situation I'd fly to Sweden asap... Certainly since your dad is still asking about you. Seems like he really wants to get to know you. -
man, that is heavy stuff. BUT as a child of a single mother and now father of two I would suggest you work with your mother and reconnect with your biological dad! If one of my kids were taken from me for any reason I would be crushed and would do anything i could to stay a part of their lives so im sure if your bio dad is a good man he has been missing you bad. and as a child who didn't have a great father figure i would suggest reconnecting as soon as you can. we can't live life in the rear view, gotta move forward. Good Luck Man!!
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CoachStox wrote:
I'd like to meet him, but for my mom and him matching up again I'm not doubt. Christer is already married.man, that is heavy stuff. BUT as a child of a single mother and now father of two I would suggest you work with your mother and reconnect with your biological dad! If one of my kids were taken from me for any reason I would be crushed and would do anything i could to stay a part of their lives so im sure if your bio dad is a good man he has been missing you bad. and as a child who didn't have a great father figure i would suggest reconnecting as soon as you can. we can't live life in the rear view, gotta move forward. Good Luck Man!!
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Your mom and he don't have to try to fall back in love to have a cordial relationship. They just have to remember you are the focal point and work together make sure you are all a part of each others life. His new family should accept that and embrace you. I also like the video idea. Or u guys could Skype.
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Sir, I am sure you must be feeling a huge amount of confusion and possible anger toward the situation. This is only natural in such instances.
Talk to you mum. Talk to your mum. Talk to your mum! Those are my three top opinions at this stage. Try to avoid argument, just try to understand the reasons.
In terms of the guy who brought you up as his son, how is your relationship with him really? We all have times in life where we don't think we care for our parents but they generally have our best at heart. He has been a part of your whole life thus far, if possible and depending on circumstance, I hope you can both maintain that bond.
With respect, I would suggest you gain as much information before contacting your biological father. Making decisions based on emotional responses can often lead to disappointment.
Most of all, stay calm and remember those you have in your life and talk to those you trust.
👍
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When I said... "...based on emotional responses can often lead to disappointment."
What I meant was, these situations can be harder to deal with if they don't have the outcome you want, emotionally.
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That'll be hard for you it happened to my father too. It was hard for him. I'm really sorry for you.
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🔥SirTalkALot🔥 wrote:
I'm pretty sure he is willing to pay. He should be imho...🌀💉JUNKIE💉🌀 wrote:
I actually am 15 years old. Idk when I can see him, money is tight on our side but he seems fine on his side. I will try to get an email when my mom comes home.Ronster wrote:
I'm guessing 15How old are you?
I think if I was in your situation I'd fly to Sweden asap... Certainly since your dad is still asking about you. Seems like he really wants to get to know you.
Hope you'll meet him any time soon and you guys can build up a relationship. -
Dang bro im sorry. Stuff happened in my past as a kid that scarred me probably as much as you and it's similar. I feel for you.
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