When Family Goes Bad
Forums › General Discussion › When Family Goes Bad-
This is a true, and sad, story, and I'm curious what the TW community thinks. A good friend has a late teenaged daughter who recently graduated HS. his work has taken him away from home for the better part of the past 5 years, so he's basically missed most of her teen years. (His wife raised her during this time.) Recently, he returned home from work to find her gone, and a lot of his stuff missing. She cleaned out everything even semi-valuable, apparently pawned it, took the money, and left the state.
My question is this. He's obviously furious, and has basically disowned his daughter publicly online (and called her some names), but how much responsibility does he have in this situation? Being that he was an absent father (his choice - he had another job a home he quit to take the other job that took him away), does he have a right to point the finger, or is he at fault, or is it on both of them?
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He left to provide for her, she should be thankful
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♛Çąŋժूƴɱąŋ♛ wrote:
He left to provide for her, she should be thankful
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Obviously he was partially at fault and he was providing for his family, but I feel like it wasn't right to do all that stuff without even telling him
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The daughter sold all his stuff? Hell no. If that was my daughter, I'd call the cops and press charges. You wanna act like you're an adult, I'll treat you like one
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Not his fault. I went the first 14 years of my life not seeing my dad. But i know he didn't just walk out on me, he left to give me a better life. And i don't feel any anger whatsoever at him.
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🔨Wulfgar🔨 wrote:
♛Çąŋժूƴɱąŋ♛ wrote:
He left to provide for her, she should be thankful
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Sometimes, our choices in life take us away from our family so that we can provide for them. That does not mean that it is easy for anyone involved. It is wrong that she did that, but you cannot judge anyone simply based off of the story that is given. There are always details and intricacies in family life that only the family members themselves will ever be able to understand, even more so when one of the family is away.
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Like I said, he had another job at home, which he chose to quit. Instead, he took this job that took him out of country for most of the past 5 years. Honestly, I think he did it to get away from the world, so to speak, since he had a job at home he could've stuck with. He kept promising to come home and be with her, and kept extendimg his job out year after year. So his being absent wasn't necessarily a heroic thing.
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What he did wasn't illegal.
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All emotion aside it was against the law for her to steal his stuff and pawn it.
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I'm 47 and my daughter is 17 and my son 15. I've been gone more that I like over the years (work) and I wonder at times what would be different now if I'd been home more. Hard to look back knowing what you missed and seeing them get old and now ready move out and on.
Hard stuff, hard choices. I'm thankful to have had the time and working to make these years as good for all of us as I can.
Sad story brother man.... Who knows, sometimes things come out ok later...
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✮⇚❹☠❶☠❺⇛✮ wrote:
Was his job at home enough to provide for his family?Like I said, he had another job at home, which he chose to quit. Instead, he took this job that took him out of country for most of the past 5 years. Honestly, I think he did it to get away from the world, so to speak, since he had a job at home he could've stuck with. He kept promising to come home and be with her, and kept extendimg his job out year after year. So his being absent wasn't necessarily a heroic thing.
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Tonytlj add:TLJ wrote:
✮⇚❹☠❶☠❺⇛✮ wrote:
Was his job at home enough to provide for his family?Like I said, he had another job at home, which he chose to quit. Instead, he took this job that took him out of country for most of the past 5 years. Honestly, I think he did it to get away from the world, so to speak, since he had a job at home he could've stuck with. He kept promising to come home and be with her, and kept extendimg his job out year after year. So his being absent wasn't necessarily a heroic thing.
Yes
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I went the majority of my life without my dad in my life. He left us when my brother and I were very young, and I didn't really get to know him til I was 16. Have I held animosity over this? Sure, in my teenage years. As I grew older, I realized he worked a ton to provide for my half brothers and stepmom, as well as help support us. We've become closer the past 15 years. I'll never forget that he wasn't there, but I don't hate him for it. As for ever wanting to pawn off his stuff, I'd never do it. That's extremely disrespectful. If I was in your friend's shoes, I'd file theft charges.
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My dad work all the time. That's what dad do. In the 1960. I don't have a close relatonship
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But I didn't steal. Kids now thinks everything there parents have is there's. Kids don't want to work. He should move on. Don't call her names won't help. Move on.
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Stealing family valuables and pawning them sounds like something a junkie would do
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You never go against family.The father did all he could.
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Is she on drugs? People on drugs like stealing from their loved ones.
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🎸₩℣ӈɪƖƖßıƖƖγ🎸 wrote:
Is she on drugs? People on drugs like stealing from their loved ones.
I think it was a combo of her anger, being fed up with him, and drugs. We had no idea she was on drugs, but like homey above said, that's a crackhead/junky move. She even sold off his guns, which he obviously had to report.
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Family is the only thing you can take the other side.
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That's too bad. And I'm sure as he goes through life, he will second guess his decision to be away. Like the people above said, that does sound like a junkie type move. I hope I'm wrong because that would mean there are even more problems with the girl. He should have turned her in. Not doing it gives her the feeling that she can get away with actions like that.
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⌖🔫Дİ٣ᾱᎿΦ٣💀👣 wrote:
Stealing family valuables and pawning them sounds like something a junkie would do
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Turf🐑Warrior wrote:
And if she is drugs, legal intervention might actually be good for her.That's too bad. And I'm sure as he goes through life, he will second guess his decision to be away. Like the people above said, that does sound like a junkie type move. I hope I'm wrong because that would mean there are even more problems with the girl. He should have turned her in. Not doing it gives her the feeling that she can get away with actions like that.
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Honest opinion, his reaction says enough about the depth of his and his daughters relationship. She's wrong sure but who's at fault in a situation like this is really beside the point. He's hurt, she's clearly hurt. The answer isn't on Facebook and it's not in justice being served either.
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Tonytlj add:TLJ wrote:
👆👆This.... Or u could pretend to forgive her. Then take her out get her drunk drive way out into the woods beat her ass and push her out of the car. She'd get the point..... Kidding I couldn't do that to my own child but it'd be tempting...Turf🐑Warrior wrote:
And if she is drugs, legal intervention might actually be good for her.That's too bad. And I'm sure as he goes through life, he will second guess his decision to be away. Like the people above said, that does sound like a junkie type move. I hope I'm wrong because that would mean there are even more problems with the girl. He should have turned her in. Not doing it gives her the feeling that she can get away with actions like that.
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Big Jake wrote:
☝☝☝☝☝Honest opinion, his reaction says enough about the depth of his and his daughters relationship. She's wrong sure but who's at fault in a situation like this is really beside the point. He's hurt, she's clearly hurt. The answer isn't on Facebook and it's not in justice being served either.
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Big Jake wrote:
Honest opinion, his reaction says enough about the depth of his and his daughters relationship. She's wrong sure but who's at fault in a situation like this is really beside the point. He's hurt, she's clearly hurt. The answer isn't on Facebook and it's not in justice being served either.
Personally, I find them both at fault. He chose to be absent - he had other options. He didn't raise his child - she basically raised herself, although the stepmom was around - so he set up the environment and lack of parenting that could lead to things like this. On the other hand, what she did is also unforgivable. And since guns were stolen and sold, he obvioualy has to report it, which means she may get in trouble for it. I grew up woth this family, and it's sad as hell to see.
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♛Çąŋժूƴɱąŋ♛ wrote:
As a parent you need to create time for your kids. Just providing isn't enough. He selfishly did what he wanted to to have her survive. But he could've helped her live a life instead of just keeping her afloatHe left to provide for her, she should be thankful
He could be with her and still have a job where he gets to see her
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My daughter steals. She is addicted to pills. She takes money pills and her dads wedding ring. Sounds bad.
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