Make Sara smile!
Forums › General Discussion › Make Sara smile!-
Bubba and Junior were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.
A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. "We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder." The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement and announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away.
Junior shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a dumb blonde! We ask for the height, and she gives us the length!"
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Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table. A very
attractive blonde woman arrived and bet twenty thousand dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude."With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!" As the dice came to a stop she jumped up and down and squealed... "YES! YES! I WON, I WON!" She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly
departed...The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching."
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As a blonde crawls out of her wrecked car, the local sheriff asks her what happened.
The blonde began, "It was the strangest thing! I looked up and saw a tree, so I swerved to the right. Then I saw another tree, so I swerved to left. Then there was another tree, and another and another ..."
The sheriff thought for a minute and then said, "Mam ... I don't know how to tell you this, but the only thing even resembling a tree on this road for thirty miles is your air freshener."
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Whats brown and sticky
A stick
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Try to say bubbles when you're angry, you will end up laughing.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, ''But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.''
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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A guy walked into a bar and sees a horse there, he asks the bar tender why there was a horse there and he said if you can make this horse laugh and cry you will get 1,000 dollars. The man thinks for a sec and asks the bartender if he can whisper in the horses ear, the bartender agrees. The guy whispers something in the horses ear and out of no where the horse starts laughing. The man then asks the bartender if he can take the horse in the bathroom, again the bartender says sure. So they go in the bathroom and when they come out the horse is crying. The bartender shocked and amazed hands the man 1,000 dollars and asks him, how did you get that horse to laugh and cry? The man say well kind sir, I got him to laugh cuz I told him I had a bigger dick then him, and then made him cry cuz I showed him. 😘 enjoy Sarah 😃
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For 💙💙Sara💙💙 -
Nice one smokey
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One day an Irishman walks into an American "Irish" pub and orders three shots of Jameson. He comes back night after night, and continually asks for the same order each time he is asked. Finally the bartender finally asks him, "Why is it that you always order your Jameson's in threes?".
"I just moved here for work and I have two brothers back in Ireland I drink for." He replied. The bartender then continued to get to know the guy after the intriguing response.
A few weeks later and after becoming friends with the Irishman, the bartender noticed the Irishman only ordered two shots...
Fearing the worst, the bartender asked if the irishman was alright, and if his family was doing well.
The Irishman, confused at first, but having it soon hit him, replied, "ohhhhhh the shots. No! My brothers are just fine! I simply quit drinkin'!".
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Sorry about the second "finally" Sara... I'm unfortunately intoxicated. Hence I make mistakes. But I'm making an effort! What kinda humour makes you smile?!?! I'm full of hilarious life experience! Ill tell you a private funny story if you want!
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So my girlfriend caught me blow drying my penis the other week. She asked what I was doing. Apparently 'Heating your dinner' wasn't the right answer.
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༨࿂ཡཞཇསངཇ wrote:
Several men have their penises bit off each year. Each occurrence is a tragedy that touches all of us. Not funny.So my girlfriend caught me blow drying my penis the other week. She asked what I was doing. Apparently 'Heating your dinner' wasn't the right answer.
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GreenManxphile wrote:
A not so uncommon "accident" is the falling over the vacuum cleaner and damaging the penis. Fact༨࿂ཡཞཇསངཇ wrote:
Several men have their penises bit off each year. Each occurrence is a tragedy that touches all of us. Not funny.So my girlfriend caught me blow drying my penis the other week. She asked what I was doing. Apparently 'Heating your dinner' wasn't the right answer.
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vishbume wrote:
Touches us all...GreenManxphile wrote:
A not so uncommon "accident" is the falling over the vacuum cleaner and damaging the penis. Fact༨࿂ཡཞཇསངཇ wrote:
Several men have their penises bit off each year. Each occurrence is a tragedy that touches all of us. Not funny.So my girlfriend caught me blow drying my penis the other week. She asked what I was doing. Apparently 'Heating your dinner' wasn't the right answer.
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GreenManxphile wrote:
Haha,Nice choice of words Greenman. Very touchingvishbume wrote:
Touches us all...GreenManxphile wrote:
A not so uncommon "accident" is the falling over the vacuum cleaner and damaging the penis. Fact༨࿂ཡཞཇསངཇ wrote:
Several men have their penises bit off each year. Each occurrence is a tragedy that touches all of us. Not funny.So my girlfriend caught me blow drying my penis the other week. She asked what I was doing. Apparently 'Heating your dinner' wasn't the right answer.
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vishbume wrote:
That's it... I'm booking a flight to Barcelona.GreenManxphile wrote:
Haha,Nice choice of words Greenman. Very touchingvishbume wrote:
Touches us all...GreenManxphile wrote:
A not so uncommon "accident" is the falling over the vacuum cleaner and damaging the penis. Fact༨࿂ཡཞཇསངཇ wrote:
Several men have their penises bit off each year. Each occurrence is a tragedy that touches all of us. Not funny.So my girlfriend caught me blow drying my penis the other week. She asked what I was doing. Apparently 'Heating your dinner' wasn't the right answer.
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I know a guy who was getting road head and got distracted. He hit a guard rail and the girl bit off two inches of his meat. The moral of the story is don't get road head.
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GreenManxphile wrote:
He's from Madrid...vishbume wrote:
That's it... I'm booking a flight to Barcelona.GreenManxphile wrote:
Haha,Nice choice of words Greenman. Very touchingvishbume wrote:
Touches us all...GreenManxphile wrote:
A not so uncommon "accident" is the falling over the vacuum cleaner and damaging the penis. Fact༨࿂ཡཞཇསངཇ wrote:
Several men have their penises bit off each year. Each occurrence is a tragedy that touches all of us. Not funny.So my girlfriend caught me blow drying my penis the other week. She asked what I was doing. Apparently 'Heating your dinner' wasn't the right answer.
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Thanks Lawrence!
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmGAtnwhu6k&feature=youtube_gdata_player
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GreenManxphile wrote:
I thought it was funny... But this thread is for Sarah༨࿂ཡཞཇསངཇ wrote:
Several men have their penises bit off each year. Each occurrence is a tragedy that touches all of us. Not funny.So my girlfriend caught me blow drying my penis the other week. She asked what I was doing. Apparently 'Heating your dinner' wasn't the right answer.
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So a black guy, a Jew, and a gay guy get summoned by God. God tells the black guy, "If you steal one more item, you will disappear and be sent to hell." God then tells the Jew, "If you don't start donating your money to others, you will disappear and go to hell." Then, God tells the gay guy, "If you don't stop having gay sex, then you will disappear and go to hell."
So they all return to Earth, and walk down the street. Along the way, the black guy sees a BestBuy, walks in, and disappears.
Now the gay guy and the Jew are walking down the street. The Jew sees a penny, bends over to pick it up, and the gay guy disappears. -
After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from the midget.
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Why did the chicken cross the road?mTO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!!!
🐔😂🐔😂🐔😂🐔😂🐔😂🐔😂🐔😂🐔😂🐔😂🐔😂🐔😂🐔😂🐔😂🐔😂🐔😂🐔😂🐔😂🐔😂🐔😂🐔😂🐔😂🐔
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Sara can drown a fish.
She can close a revolving door.She won American Idol with sign language.And finally she wins staring contests with Medusa.
Join in if you know what I'm doing! -
MOB 'N ROB wrote:
Sara can count to infinity. Twice.Sara can drown a fish.
She can close a revolving door.She won American Idol with sign language.And finally she wins staring contests with Medusa.
Join in if you know what I'm doing! -
ʝɑʗƙƊṏɲƙɛγ wrote:
There ya go! C'mon!MOB 'N ROB wrote:
Sara can count to infinity. Twice.Sara can drown a fish.
She can close a revolving door.She won American Idol with sign language.And finally she wins staring contests with Medusa.
Join in if you know what I'm doing!
Sara can play the harmonica.
WITH HER EYE -
🔥991-۷օㄨγ-991🔥 wrote:
*cough cough....* sorry to do this. I really am. There's no T.How do you make someone smile? Get rid of Grammer Natzis!
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