Funny yet Informative. (possibly offensive)
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In her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance.
The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, written by a US man, and posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:
Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination ... End of that debate.
I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.
1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians.
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2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of Menstrual uncleanliness -Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
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5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?
6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?
7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?
8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
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9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
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F̵̸͊͊̌͆̑̍̇̉͆͠͏̭̪̩̘̘͉̗͔͖̦̟̭̞̬̮̼͞ͅu̫̞͕̰̪̤͖͉̜̻ͬ̎̿̎̉̈́̂̂͌ͩ̒̏̊̅͛͘͜͞ņ̛͛̿ͩͫͥͭ͐ͥ͊͒ͧ́ͧ́́҉͔̖͔̻͉̯̝̠̪͔̝̳̮̹̜̬nͯͭ̄̋͑̎̌ͩ̍ͩ҉̸̧̡͇̟̭̫̹̺̪͇̞̮̤̣̲̞̠̪͞yͣͩͭ̿ͪ̎͋ͯ̇̋͆ͤ̿ͬͦͬ̓͑̀͏҉̤̗̗̳̩̳̤̝̣ ̶͙̟̟̰͖ͫ̑̌͛̈́͛ͨ́͒̒̋̏ͤ̀̚͢͝s̷̛̬͓͕̭̼̗̯̘̒ͯ̌̂̑̆ͨͮ̑͌͗̓͆͆̓ͩ͋̾ͣ́ͅͅͅt̵̨̘̟͇̻̜̦̥̳̗̤̐̓ͤ̅͗ͧ͋̈ͣ̀̚̕ų̶̢̛̯̩̺͓̭̥̼͖̳ͥ̈ͪ̌̓ͣͨ͊͋́̄̊̊ͣ͌͂̾ͩ̑f̴̢͛͊͛͗̆͌ͥ̽ͥ̾̿͟͏̢̮̖̝͕͈͈̜ͅf̢̥͙̳̱͇̝̣̹͓͇̐̄̈́͊̌̿ͤ͛͛ͦͬ̇ͮͮ͢͜
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I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I'm confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.
Your adoring fan.
James M. Kauffman, Ed.D. Professor Emeritus, Dept. Of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education University of Virginia
PS: It would be a damn shame if we couldn't own a Canadian
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There is a disturbance in the matrix.
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Moral relativism can sure be a b¡tch! 💋(no homo)👍
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I still think rule 3. Should be upheld.. Mostly for men's safety... You can tell 😜
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Reddit.com/r/atheist come join in the fun!
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I sprinkle my bulls with febreeze and baby powder to take away the stench
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Hahahahaha
I'm so using a few of these against my preacher 😉 -
This I great 👍
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🔰ℬཞüęℵǿཞ🔰 wrote:
Except he's going to look at you like your an idiot 😉Hahahahaha
I'm so using a few of these against my preacher 😉 -
Carpenter wrote:
The excuse you will be given is that this stuff is old testament...since then the bible has been updated to a new firmware🔰ℬཞüęℵǿཞ🔰 wrote:
Except he's going to look at you like your an idiot 😉Hahahahaha
I'm so using a few of these against my preacher 😉 -
💀༄्ཧ़ཀंེབ།༨ཛყ༄💀 wrote:
Nope. That's not really the case. All the laws in the old testament were used to physically set apart the Jews from the pagans. They were set apart through their looks (the haircuts and shaving) and by what they did (no cattle in the same fields as other animals, etc) and what they ate (no shellfish, only animals with cloven hoves and chews cud, etc). When the Messiah came, he too the place of all the physical set-apartness and replaced it with a mental set-apartness.Carpenter wrote:
The excuse you will be given is that this stuff is old testament...since then the bible has been updated to a new firmware🔰ℬཞüęℵǿཞ🔰 wrote:
Except he's going to look at you like your an idiot 😉Hahahahaha
I'm so using a few of these against my preacher 😉 -
👆 Beautifully said Carpenter. I was trying to word that myself. Glad you beat me to it. These anti-God people will go to great lengths to try and prove the Bible is wrong.
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I've seen that before its pretty hilarious. I'd shake that guys hand. Schlesinger is an idiot person.
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Ignorant fools.
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Carpenter wrote:
👍👍👍💀༄्ཧ़ཀंེབ།༨ཛყ༄💀 wrote:
Nope. That's not really the case. All the laws in the old testament were used to physically set apart the Jews from the pagans. They were set apart through their looks (the haircuts and shaving) and by what they did (no cattle in the same fields as other animals, etc) and what they ate (no shellfish, only animals with cloven hoves and chews cud, etc). When the Messiah came, he too the place of all the physical set-apartness and replaced it with a mental set-apartness.Carpenter wrote:
The excuse you will be given is that this stuff is old testament...since then the bible has been updated to a new firmware🔰ℬཞüęℵǿཞ🔰 wrote:
Except he's going to look at you like your an idiot 😉Hahahahaha
I'm so using a few of these against my preacher 😉 -
Baron Von Fritz wrote:
... Dude it's people like you that make Christians look bad. Just because they thought something else doesn't make them "ignorant fools".Ignorant fools.
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ChromeDakota wrote:
It's not just to prove the bible is wrong at all. God supposedly made everyone equal, so that insists that homosexuals are equal yet they are forbidden?👆 Beautifully said Carpenter. I was trying to word that myself. Glad you beat me to it. These anti-God people will go to great lengths to try and prove the Bible is wrong.
Every religion is flawed, Catholics kills 5million women in 300 years, simply because they said it was gods message. They killed pagans because paganism was over-shadowing catholicism. Also how can you explain the Vatican "donating" 1billion dollars to a fake company? Religion is getting greedy. End of.
If I offend anyone religious I apologise. -
FussyJosh wrote:
Everyone is equal. Homosexuals, prostitutes, priests, pastors. All equal in the eyes of the Lord.ChromeDakota wrote:
It's not just to prove the bible is wrong at all. God supposedly made everyone equal, so that insists that homosexuals are equal yet they are forbidden👆 Beautifully said Carpenter. I was trying to word that myself. Glad you beat me to it. These anti-God people will go to great lengths to try and prove the Bible is wrong.
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Carpenter wrote:
Then Respect to you Carpenter. In my 20 years of living you are truly the only christian to agree!FussyJosh wrote:
Everyone is equal. Homosexuals, prostitutes, priests, pastors. All equal in the eyes of the Lord.ChromeDakota wrote:
It's not just to prove the bible is wrong at all. God supposedly made everyone equal, so that insists that homosexuals are equal yet they are forbidden👆 Beautifully said Carpenter. I was trying to word that myself. Glad you beat me to it. These anti-God people will go to great lengths to try and prove the Bible is wrong.
If only the rest didn't lose there way eh? -
FussyJosh wrote:
Exactly. So many Christians just think they above non-Christians.Carpenter wrote:
Then Respect to you Carpenter. In my 20 years of living you are truly the only christian to agree!FussyJosh wrote:
Everyone is equal. Homosexuals, prostitutes, priests, pastors. All equal in the eyes of the Lord.ChromeDakota wrote:
It's not just to prove the bible is wrong at all. God supposedly made everyone equal, so that insists that homosexuals are equal yet they are forbidden👆 Beautifully said Carpenter. I was trying to word that myself. Glad you beat me to it. These anti-God people will go to great lengths to try and prove the Bible is wrong.
If only the rest didn't lose there way eh? -
Baron Von Fritz wrote:
*facepalmIgnorant fools.
Baron, you give Christians a bad name. Stop and read. This is with respect to the Jews, and orthodox ones at that. If you take offence I have to wonder why?
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Those who claim to be Christian then look down upon others are not Christians. I could claim to be a dog, walk on all fours and bark but that doesn't make me a dog. Christ preached love for all.
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That is very funny. Only die-hard Catholics would still believe in stuff along the lines of looking down upon homosexuals and things like that. I'm glad to say I'm not one of those. In a sense, a good portion of religion is comprehension.
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Morgan Freeman wrote:
Only stereotyping morons think Catholics have a monopoly on anti-homosexual bigotry. I'm a Catholic who loves people regardless of who they choose to bed with. And i know plenty of people - Jews, muslims, even the newer Christian denominations like baptists, Lutherans, episcopalians, and Mormons - who have expressed anti-homosexual beliefs. Trust me my man - no one religion is unique in judgment and self-righteousness.That is very funny. Only die-hard Catholics would still believe in stuff along the lines of looking down upon homosexuals and things like that. I'm glad to say I'm not one of those. In a sense, a good portion of religion is comprehension.
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💀༄्ཧ़ཀंེབ།༨ཛყ༄💀 wrote:
No, the excuse will be these are taken out of context and erroneously used as stand alone doctrine.Carpenter wrote:
The excuse you will be given is that this stuff is old testament...since then the bible has been updated to a new firmware🔰ℬཞüęℵǿཞ🔰 wrote:
Except he's going to look at you like your an idiot 😉Hahahahaha
I'm so using a few of these against my preacher 😉 -
Dino Marchetti wrote:
Or, it's a metaphor!💀༄्ཧ़ཀंེབ།༨ཛყ༄💀 wrote:
No, the excuse will be these are taken out of context and erroneously used as stand alone doctrine.Carpenter wrote:
The excuse you will be given is that this stuff is old testament...since then the bible has been updated to a new firmware🔰ℬཞüęℵǿཞ🔰 wrote:
Except he's going to look at you like your an idiot 😉Hahahahaha
I'm so using a few of these against my preacher 😉
Most commonly used during marks gospel!
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