Hilarious jokes 😹

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completepwnage Jul 23, 2010

Know a good joke? Post it here!!
completepwnage Jul 23, 2010

I got one, there's two guys in a room and the one guys daughter walks in and he says hi butterfly, the other man asks why he named her butterfly and he said it's because a butterfly landed on her when she was a baby, then another daughter walks in and he says hi lily and the guy asks again why did u name her lily, he answered because a lily landed on her when she was a baby, then a third daughter walks in yelling mpfhasalawiringaritiwaka and the man says shut up cinderblock!
🃏Public Enemy Jul 23, 2010

Ge the joke right! It's the third child walks in and says urrr and the man says shut up fridge!
completepwnage Jul 23, 2010

Hey, that's how I heard it and personally I like it better
HydroChaz Jul 23, 2010

There are two friends walking down the street when a man comes up to them with a gun and demands their wallets. One friend turns to the other, says"here's that money I owe you" and hands the other 50 bucks.
mr joble Jul 23, 2010

What's blue and fucks Grannys ?

Hypothermia !
Lol !
TheRamb Add: 86 Jul 23, 2010

mr joble wrote:
What's blue and fucks Grannys ?

Hypothermia !
Lol !

Nice.. Haha
Jacksie Jul 23, 2010

I'm Josef Fritzl and no windows was my idea.
Jacksie Jul 23, 2010

New Miley Cyrus DVD: £15

Tub of Vaseline: £3

XL Box of Tissues: £2

The look of disgust on the cashier's face as you pay: Priceless
Jacksie Jul 23, 2010

What do spinach and anal sex have in common?

If you were forced to have it as a kid, you'll hate it as an adult.
Jacksie Jul 23, 2010

I was in a porno cinema the other night. I hadn't been there five minutes when some guy started yelling at me: "Oh, you're a beast, you're despicable!"

So I said to him: "Listen mate, we're all here together, you're just as despicable as I am." But then other people started chipping in, shouting stuff like "How do you sleep at night?" and "You're a total disgrace."

Next thing I knew the manager was standing right beside me, throwing in his two pence worth as well. I remember what he said to the letter. He said: "In 25 years I've never seen anything like this."

So I said: "I know I'm not much to look at but that's a bit harsh, isn't it?" But he wasn't listening, he was just waving his arms saying he was going to "throw me out" and that security was "on its way."

At that point I just thought "Oh, I don't need this".

So I stood up and said: "Fuck it, come on kids we're leaving."
Howard Jul 23, 2010

Rofl👆
Iggy  Jul 23, 2010

Jacksie wrote:
I'm Josef Fritzl and no windows was my idea.

👍👍👍BURN 🔥WINDOWS🔥
mr joble Jul 23, 2010

Jacksie wrote:
What do spinach and anal sex have in common?

If you were forced to have it as a kid, you'll hate it as an adult.

Pmsl ha ha !
mr joble Jul 23, 2010

What do you do if Michael jacksons drowning ?

Throw him a boy !!!!

Lol ( yes I know he's already dead )
Primo Loco Jul 23, 2010

mr joble wrote:
What do you do if Michael jacksons drowning ?

Throw him a boy !!!!

Lol ( yes I know he's already dead )

😒 did u also know that it's still a lil bit too soon?
When Steve Irwin died it took at least a few years before everyone started with all the cartoons.....cept sputhpark they gobbled that shit up 😄
mr joble Jul 23, 2010

A bit too soon ha ha that's the best joke ever he was a nonce 😺😺 now the children are safe

And as for steve irwin he was lucky to live for so long !!!!😜✌
completepwnage Jul 23, 2010

Lol I don't think it's too soon
mr joble Jul 23, 2010

Fair play each to their own !!!
Jacksie Jul 23, 2010

I beat my wife at dominos the other night.

She needs to learn that I choose the pizza toppings.
Jacksie Jul 23, 2010

My girlfriend found my porn collection the other day.

Sobbingly she said, "The worst thing is, none of these women even look like me!"

To which I replied, "Well of course not, you've got all your limbs."
Jacksie Jul 23, 2010

I've just been banned from eBay.

Apparently, a rat and a plastic tube does not constitute a DIY abortion kit.
Potato_is_TuF Jul 23, 2010

Lol guys
shaggly razors Jul 23, 2010

My wife said to me how come you don't make love to me like they do in the movies . So I flipped her over done her up the arse and jizzed in her face . Turns out we watch different movies
mr joble Jul 24, 2010

Jacksie wrote:
I've just been banned from eBay.

Apparently, a rat and a plastic tube does not constitute a DIY abortion kit.

Pmsl 😜
Potato_is_TuF Jul 24, 2010

Where do gay people buy their sports gear?
Dick's Sporting Goods