FREAKING MONKEY 🍀🍉🐺
Forums › General Discussion › FREAKING MONKEY 🍀🍉🐺-
༺☣ℳཞ7lᏤཡℬüᎦ☣༻ wrote:
Well better that than shit I suppose 😂Ꮹཞ།ཀཀ wrote:
Damn, your right...Everyone knows monkeys don't like Gritts dumbass. Their too tough 😜. Something is off somewhere.
They don't like the soft and mushy GRITTS.....
Thats probably why he THREW THEM AT ME. -
May 17,
Captains Log."we are following the monkey trail at high speeds. The little blah hard has detained and destroyed 2 of our fastest mounts. I fear it's getting smarter. My weapon is constantly in my hand, ready at a moments notice.
We found a fresh pile of poo today, we're getting close.
*snap*
What was that?
OMG IT'S HUGE!!!
🔫🔫🔫*blam blam blam*
IT'S STILL COMMING
IT'S GOT M--------------" -
︻┳テ=一
Please continue ༺☣ℳཞ7lᏤཡℬüᎦ☣༻ I brought my ak-47 so hurry up and make me laugh!!!!! -
May 17
Normal log."the beast has grown considerably. It's not getting smarter, just growing more primal. It didn't even chew me.
I managed to pull my field knife and stabbed its tongue, forcing its mouth open and jumping to the trees for safety. Looking through the branches i saw my glasses, perched on its head.
It ate my horse.
With limited supplies, and feeling slimey, I continue my trek for the bastard and my half moon glasses. -
Status report:
Main camp found."the place was in shambles. Holes torn through every tent and boxes tossed aside and broken.
I heard a rustling and picked up a spoon, but all it turned out to be was a field mouse in a rice bag.
I called out "HELLLOOO" but recieved no answer.
I searched the tents and found an old six-shooter, but only 4 bullets. I kept my spoon.
Suddenly I ended face down in a hole, that upon closer inspection was not a hole, but a foot print of the dam monkey.
I hope the team made it away safely.
Grabbing a small pack of food, I set off with my spoon and my gun, to follow the beast that stole my sunglasses." -
🐵🏃💨🚌
-
Status report.
Came upon remains of a team member. An arm, well, forearm was all that remained.
I burried it, and said a few words..
"it was a good arm, when it was alive... It moved, and functioned like it should, but in the end did not shoot straight.
Stupid arm, see you in hell"
Turning in the direction of the broken trees, I headed up the mountain, a strong odor assaulting my nose, getting more foul with ever step" -
"suddenly I reach a clearing.
Across the way I see the source of the foul stench...
THAT DAM MONKEY WAS TAKING A SHOWER.
Little bugger.
A huge pot over a fire was cooking more GRITTS, and several large catapults were already loaded with the nasty stuff -
3 of my men were
Feeding the fire with their bodies. The source of the terrible odor.
The other were tied to a large tree, vines around their necks like dogs. 3 were unconscious, one was chewing at the vine -
That made me mad.
I jumped into the cokpit of my giant robot fighting suit and stomped into the clearing.
"ARRRGGGGGG" I yelled.
The monkey stopped,and stood up.
It towers over my robot suit by nearly 15 feet.
"sir, kindly get off my foot" it said. -
I'm airdroping you these items right now. Eyes on the sky.🔫 💣 💊 🍔 🚌
-
Sir talk a lot wrote:
WHAT THE HELL DO I NEED A BOMB FOR?? IT'S GONNA EAT MEI'm airdroping you these items right now. Eyes on the sky.🔫 💣 💊 🍔 🚌
-
༺☣ℳཞ7lᏤཡℬüᎦ☣༻ wrote:
Fine but the burger has poisen in it. Make sure he eats it and he will be dead in 20 minutes.Sir talk a lot wrote:
WHAT THE HELL DO I NEED A BOMB FOR?? IT'S GONNA EAT MEI'm airdroping you these items right now. Eyes on the sky.🔫 💣 💊 🍔 🚌
-
Sir talk a lot wrote:
Sure, just enough time for him to smash me .༺☣ℳཞ7lᏤཡℬüᎦ☣༻ wrote:
Fine but the burger has poisen in it. Make sure he eats it and he will be dead in 20 minutes.Sir talk a lot wrote:
WHAT THE HELL DO I NEED A BOMB FOR?? IT'S GONNA EAT MEI'm airdroping you these items right now. Eyes on the sky.🔫 💣 💊 🍔 🚌
-
Status report: Rescue VW
Yesterday mothership lost communications with bus's scout team. Last communication was.... disturbing... quote: "There's a mother f**cktard throwing monkey on my head! Get it off Get it off! End of transmission."
We are not sure of the teams current position however the planet's surface is riddled with fecal matter and very dirty (also smelly) hair that we have identified as humanoid and semi-humanoid (I mean both) while searching the planet we came across the ruined camp of VW's team after assessing the damage we found that there must not have been survivors yet after further inspection we found human tracks we plan on stopping soon at a creek where we may refill our water supply. Yet the greatest "mystery" is the fact that zombies seem to be roaming the landscape. I must now talk with lieutenant elmerson to discuss our next mo.. mother fucking hell what in the name of the devils pussy is that! no! no! NO! Get away (roar!),(gun shots),(screams!),(silence)..... -
༺☣ℳཞ7lᏤཡℬüᎦ☣༻ wrote:
That's why u use the bus as a get away. The pill will also slowly shrink the monkey.Sir talk a lot wrote:
Sure, just enough time for him to smash me .༺☣ℳཞ7lᏤཡℬüᎦ☣༻ wrote:
Fine but the burger has poisen in it. Make sure he eats it and he will be dead in 20 minutes.Sir talk a lot wrote:
WHAT THE HELL DO I NEED A BOMB FOR?? IT'S GONNA EAT MEI'm airdroping you these items right now. Eyes on the sky.🔫 💣 💊 🍔 🚌
-
That was alpha omega squadrons last transmission after a thorough analysis we have concluded that all of alpha omega squadron was destroyed yet the fate of VW's team is still under investigation.
-
Suddenly I rememberd my robot had a honey cannon.
"eat this you freaky monkey talking bastard that stole my sunglasses"
Plop...
The cannon wasn't as strong as I thought... It globes out, dropping onto the monkeys feet, and congealing.
Fast.
He couldn't move his feet but he smashed my robot.
I jumped onto his arm, and as he raised it over his head, I fell onto his eye.
(repeat after me, EWWWWW)
Sliding to his nose, I climbed up and retrieved my glasses as his huge fist came down....
Slamming himself in the forhead, he collapsed.. I fellinto a pile of GRITTS in one of the catapults.. Asi was cleaning off I suddenly realized...
THEY WEREN'T MY GLASSES AT ALL -
I quickly ran to the remaining member of my team, and using my spoon, cut the vines.
As we hightailed it into the forest, huge globs of GRITTS flew over our head. The dam monkey was licking its feet and firing it's loaded catapults.
The sergeant was flattened under a steaming pile of GRITTS, and we ran all the harder -
🙎🔥DEV@STATOR🔥🙎 wrote:
Dev team do you read me?! I'm in a supply plane trying to make a landing and this monkey is throwing trees at me. I also lost sight on VM.That was alpha omega squadrons last transmission after a thorough analysis we have concluded that all of alpha omega squadron was destroyed yet the fate of VW's team is still under investigation.
-
Sir talk a lot wrote:
You gotta do better than that🙎🔥DEV@STATOR🔥🙎 wrote:
Dev team do you read me?! I'm in a supply plane trying to make a landing and this monkey is throwing trees at me. I also lost sight on VM.That was alpha omega squadrons last transmission after a thorough analysis we have concluded that all of alpha omega squadron was destroyed yet the fate of VW's team is still under investigation.
-
🙎🔥DEV@STATOR🔥🙎 wrote:
The monkey finally let me land the plane, I'm low on ammo and food but I'm still going to follow the destructive path made by the monkey to locate VM, his last known location of him was deep in the forest with the monkey hot on his trail throwing Gritts at him and his last remaining crew member. Night time is also approaching we need to regroup (if there is anyone still alive) before it gets too dark.Sir talk a lot wrote:
You gotta do better than that🙎🔥DEV@STATOR🔥🙎 wrote:
Dev team do you read me?! I'm in a supply plane trying to make a landing and this monkey is throwing trees at me. I also lost sight on VM.That was alpha omega squadrons last transmission after a thorough analysis we have concluded that all of alpha omega squadron was destroyed yet the fate of VW's team is still under investigation.
-
WHAM
Suddenly we're Engulfed by a glib of GRITTS.
The monkey walks over and picked us up. (spoken as a later, as I am unconscious, as is my corporal) we are taken back to the lair...
We've yet to wake up -
Nice Bruenor! Funny imposter shit bro, I had to even do a double take!
7⃣1⃣☣🚌
-
Sir talk a lot wrote:
Better but not good enough yet🙎🔥DEV@STATOR🔥🙎 wrote:
The monkey finally let me land the plane, I'm low on ammo and food but I'm still going to follow the destructive path made by the monkey to locate VM, his last known location of him was deep in the forest with the monkey hot on his trail throwing Gritts at him and his last remaining crew member. Night time is also approaching we need to regroup (if there is anyone still alive) before it gets too dark.Sir talk a lot wrote:
You gotta do better than that🙎🔥DEV@STATOR🔥🙎 wrote:
✂That was alpha omega squadrons last transmission after a thorough analysis we have concluded that all of alpha omega squadron was destroyed yet the fate of VW's team is still under investigation.
-
༺☣ℳཞ71ᏤཡℬüᎦ☣༻ wrote:
You know what we do with imposters 💩Nice Bruenor! Funny imposter shit bro, I had to even do a double take!
7⃣1⃣☣🚌
-
_________ _
__------____/ === ========================
| ________________/
| ___--_/(_) ^
|___---
that's wierd. I found it with a key chain that said "Baron" on it.
Ohhhh, they ate him! -
༺☣ㄥɪғعʂ ㄗཞɪƈع☣༻ wrote:
Hahaha, I've written an epic thread and didn't even write it! This shits hilarious!༺☣ℳཞ71ᏤཡℬüᎦ☣༻ wrote:
You know what we do with imposters 💩Nice Bruenor! Funny imposter shit bro, I had to even do a double take!
7⃣1⃣☣🚌
7⃣1⃣☣🚌
-
I'm not sure how to take this. Whether or not I should feel mildly insulted
-
We wake up, HURTLING through the air , hands and feet tied together...
As we struggle to free our bonds, we see a plane comming in low, below us...
Too close, we catch on the tail fin, breaking our wrists, but staying caught... As the plane lands in a clearing, we drag ourselves off the ground, over to the people as they run into the woods after us...
Too weak to yell, we collapse, and wait for them to come back to us.
Hopefully with my sunglasses
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