👑The Quest Of The BeanBorn👑

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🔰࿈Ᏸลอ🔥Ᏸεαη࿈🔰 May 9, 2012

Seeking my ancestral homelands, I have decided to make the long and dangerous trek from Dickinson, Texas to Cancun, Mexico, traversing 2000 miles through dangerous deadzones. Now, many of you may love me enough to caution me of going, but not even Goddess's monkey could stop me now, for I am too hardheaded to listen to reason like:
You don't have the money to make the trip!
You probably should punch codes instead.
Why don't you just stay home and take care of your kids, you crazy bastard?
Your heart-filled comments are appreciated but the journey began last night, so there is no turning back now.
I must find the land where I was born!
🌀💉JUNKIE💉🌀 May 9, 2012

Good luck happy hopping
🔰࿈Ᏸลอ🔥Ᏸεαη࿈🔰 May 9, 2012

May 9th, 0:35- Me and my trusty horse coconuts began the journey together. We started in the dark to evade the dark forces which May want to stop me from reaching my homeland, in order to conceal a terrible truth, but that's all speculation; I could just be a paranoid person, but that is besides the point.
I passed through the castle Alvin, in which I supped with a maiden who when I left was a maiden no longer. 😏 After being chased around the town for killing a chicken, I decided it was best to leave, so I saddled loyal coconuts and we were on our way.
🔰࿈Ᏸลอ🔥Ᏸεαη࿈🔰 May 9, 2012

We came to a pasture with a sign with a crudely written Rosharon on it, but there were no buildings there. Upon further inspection I found that the sign was still dripping with paint. Then it happened...
🔰࿈Ᏸลอ🔥Ᏸεαη࿈🔰 May 9, 2012

I was blindsided. They just appeared out of the ground. Black and white spotted beasts in napsack hoods approached me with sinister smiles across their face. I pulled out my shield and gat but it was too late, for I was already tied to a stick and being hoisted to a rather large fire. The beasts were muttering, no chanting something about eating less feathered products, it was extremely disorientating. As the fire inched closer and closer, I heard a shrill nay. COCONUTS! I yelled.
🔰࿈Ᏸลอ🔥Ᏸεαη࿈🔰 May 9, 2012

Coconuts rushed to my aid in a fury of fire and gunshots, or that might've been the LSD I took earlier, but either way, coconuts and I ended riding out of the pasture in a blaze of glory as the cows mourned the death of their king. I was the new king of Rosharon.
🔰࿈Ᏸลอ🔥Ᏸεαη࿈🔰 May 9, 2012

The rest of the ride was monotonous, you know same old same old, alien chases, spider riding, cures to cancer, but I passed up all of that as I was riding to my final destination for the night, Damon, Texas. While very eerily named, Damon was a very quaint looking town that was a little rundown. Boarded up windows, broken glass, furniture blocking doorways, just typical signs of a recent Justin Bieber concert. however, a cute little girl with bright blue eyes came out to great me with a teddy bear in her hands. I was happy to know somebody appreciated my quest. As I approached, she squealed a screech of what I could only describe as pure delight. When I finally got face to face with her, I noticed all of her red makeup was running down her mouth and eyes, so as any good adventurer would do, I leaned over to wipe the child's face in a comforting way.
ꅔꉻꐪ꒩ᵀᴸ May 9, 2012

🙋😲
Yes, i was that chicken.

Hmph. BadBean, you're a genius. Rest well, knowing someone is reading your story start to finish.
🔰࿈Ᏸลอ🔥Ᏸεαη࿈🔰 May 9, 2012

"Fuck Fuck Fuck, why me? What the hell is that thing!?!" Are the thoughts that blast through my head as I see the girls face split in half and a large spider head pops out. I kicked coconuts and she galloped as fast as she could but as we hit the city limits, we could go no further. So, like the little girl I currently was in my mind, I found a barn and his with coconuts with my ears plugged saying "LaLaLaLaLa this is not happening." me and coconuts huddled together that night for safety. She's a beautiful horse, and I love her... In a plutonic way not in the bestiality way, you psychopaths.
🔰࿈Ᏸลอ🔥Ᏸεαη࿈🔰 May 9, 2012

I never liked the term plutonic. It seemed counterintuitive because if you think about it, the god Pluto was entering and exiting Hades's cave every day. Also the dog Pluto I'm pretty sure had a thing with goofy's wife. Finally, the planet Pluto is the biggest player of them all. First of all, Pluto had the sun all over it. Pluto is trying its hardest to get away from the sun, but that hoe wants Pluto's hard rocky body and it's icy stare. Meanwhile, Pluto has its own thing goin with its moon which is the same size as pluto(so it could do better) but it stays with Pluto anyways. In short, the word plutonic should not mean nonsexual relationship because by far, Pluto is the most "pimpin" of all words. But I need to get back on track.
🔰࿈Ᏸลอ🔥Ᏸεαη࿈🔰 May 9, 2012

Anyways, today, the monster is nowhere in sight and tonight I will again resume questing for my homeland. Hopefully i meet somebody along the way because I'm getting lonely.
Ps coconut is alright as well.
༎།SཛཀᎢཇΧ།༎ May 9, 2012

😏 This...Is charming.