Shadow Walker
Forums › General Discussion › Shadow Walker-
Grammar aside its a hard read; your paragraph structure and many sentence breaks keeps the story from flowing. Personally if I can find a flow I lose interest.
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Ant Corleone wrote:
I know, i'm not trying too hard with the paragraph structure, sorry if it confuses you. I don't have time to spend on making sure the structure is good. Hopefully you understand.Grammar aside its a hard read; your paragraph structure and many sentence breaks keeps the story from flowing. Personally if I can find a flow I lose interest.
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Well, I have finished one picture that I have been working on. This is Shadow Walker's symbol. I will find a way to put it onto the main cover of the graphic novel. Sorry for the watermark, I didn't want anyone to steal the picture from me. Please check it out sometime... here is the link. https://picasaweb.google.com/105009819781962889490/April92012?authkey=Gv1sRgCI7QgdiS96zEBQ#5729462736044323490
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Pretty neat symbol looks a bit like a mask
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it took me a while
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How long do you think my graphic novel should be?
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I respect the fact that you took the time to fabricate this story. 👍...The main problem I see here though, is that you need a stronger intro. It's a bit too cliche of a title too. You should stick with the main story-line, but you need to create a better back story for the main character and BUILD UP to the plot. You're jumping into the plot much too fast for the reader. And as a personal suggestion, please don't make the character seem invincible like Bruce Lee or anything. I noticed you had karate and other martial arts on there. That's much too 1990 for this generation of readers. Again, I admire that you made this story and it seems to have some potential, and I wish you good luck, sir! And as for my sources, my mother is a retired English teacher. 😼
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Baron Von Fritz wrote:
The longest part right now is just a flashback. The character will be built upon a lot more. Remember, you will mostly be seeing pictures when I am done with this.I respect the fact that you took the time to fabricate this story. 👍...The main problem I see here though, is that you need a stronger intro. It's a bit too cliche of a title too. You should stick with the main story-line, but you need to create a better back story for the main character and BUILD UP to the plot. You're jumping into the plot much too fast for the reader. And as a personal suggestion, please don't make the character seem invincible like Bruce Lee or anything. I noticed you had karate and other martial arts on there. That's much too 1990 for this generation of readers. Again, I admire that you made this story and it seems to have some potential, and I wish you good luck, sir! And as for my sources, my mother is a retired English teacher. 😼
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I have a lot of the story written out already. I just need to type it up and post it here.
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well, i found out that it is going to take 2-3 days to get my computer fixed.... That means that I won't be able to start illustrating that graphic novel. stupid Trojan...
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Holy shit, this would be an awesome video game, too. Flashback, black and white, pouring rain, silent hill feel, kingdom hearts like cutscene, edgin along the wall, ninja sword in hand. Epicest thing ever. You should email capcom. Lolz, but seriously.
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I'm planning on making it nice and long... It will get pretty violent and bloody, but there is a purpose behind all of the violence. I don't care for the stories that have extreme violence with no purpose.
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what type of art do you think I should use?
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Does anyone think I should post my art work as a finish the illustrated pages?
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Zenyoul wrote:
Oh my god.Holy shit, this would be an awesome video game, too. Flashback, black and white, pouring rain, silent hill feel, kingdom hearts like cutscene, edgin along the wall, ninja sword in hand. Epicest thing ever. You should email capcom. Lolz, but seriously.
Honestly, i'm going to have a heart attack.
Shadow, i gots' a proposition for ya. I'll shoot you a PM in a bit. -
⌖🔥Çħίκεɴ🔥⌖ wrote:
Hmm?Zenyoul wrote:
Oh my god.Holy shit, this would be an awesome video game, too. Flashback, black and white, pouring rain, silent hill feel, kingdom hearts like cutscene, edgin along the wall, ninja sword in hand. Epicest thing ever. You should email capcom. Lolz, but seriously.
Honestly, i'm going to have a heart attack.
Shadow, i gots' a proposition for ya. I'll shoot you a PM in a bit. -
I think it's good so far. Just keep going you can do it!
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I will be posting more soon.
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I think it's awesome!Great job in building your story.I'll buy it if it came out.👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
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Maybe you should consider asking a young adult (Minimum of 20 years old) how the plot appeals to them. The plot...(Sorry to burst bubbles here)...Is like alot of other books I've seen 🙍....It's always the karate expert, high-tech, abnormal, very smart, power-imbued male or female against either an unknown enemy, a known enemy, or himself. If you would like any suggestions or tips from a amateur book-critic, let me know and I'll send you my E-mail address. 😺 Keep writing!!
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I've only posted a few pages. The plot will be a lot different then what you think it is.
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Very good but dont give this guy lots of superman powers otherwise it would be the same as lots of other stories but keep up the good work.
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aggarwal wrote:
Bah, I'm going to give him a cape and tights and let him fly around in the sky.Very good but dont give this guy lots of superman powers otherwise it would be the same as lots of other stories but keep up the good work.
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Dkillermon wrote:
Lol nothing like getting shot downYawn😒
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Isn't this story in some ways similar to that Keanu reeves movie? (sorry didn't get to finish reading it all) I will finish later.
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***Spoiler Alert*** If you don't want part of the story ruined then don't read anymore.
(The main character, Shadow Walker is actually dead. He is sort of a puppet. He is controlled by himself but, there is no life in him, and no one else controls him. He is not a zombie though, this is not a zombie book. He does not need people's brains to survive.)
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😳...?....I like the concept of him being dead. Make it into some sort of pacemaker device that keeps him "alive" ☺
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Why did you use the term "straight-line wind?" I've never heard that used in a weather report & I had to look up the meaning of the term. Unless it's important to the story, it just breaks the flow by confusing people.
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Why does he climb the handrails instead of the stairs? Why is it important that his watch is a Rolex? If you are putting these details in, make sure there is a reason for them.
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What does Martial Arts training have to do with seeing in the dark?
The guy uses swords to kill the demons in the beginning, so why can't he use a sword against the evil creatures? Demons are evil too.
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