🔥👿Death💀Wishing👿🔥
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Ok, it's time to come clean...I'm not someone most of u would think of me as. I portait myself as a happy guy with only childish problems. Well I hide all the real shit from everyone just like in RL. In RL I'm still always forcin myself to be this happy go lucky type of guy but deep down I'm seriously fucked up. I'm always stressed I'm usually in a state of depression when I'm alone (only time I can show it) I'm always havin shit thrown at me. Reasons being?Well it's just one main reason really. I grew up without my dad. I have a step dad yes but he's like a parroll officer(idk how to spell it) watchin u every day (he's not he works for ADT) and every time he talks he talks as if he's the most smartest person in the world yet I'm easily capable to outsmart him and he always comes to me to ask how to spell things. Well enough about him back to my real dad. He left my mom when I was only 6 weeks and my sister was 5yrs old. I never grew up as a regular kid.
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I always had to teach myself things n struggle through everythin which made me stronger than the rest. But usually too much things cone at me too fast. Which back when I didn't know how to deal with the stress I resulted to suicidal attempts (sadly I failed at them all lol idk how) anyways this man has always did what he could to stay away to prevent payin child support and despite all the shit I had to fucking go through cause I didn't have anyone there for me. I still had some kind of affection towards him. Idk if it's just me wanting to actually spend some time with him...but things are too much to forget n forgive. After years of not even callin to say hello or even a simple email...he finally calls...he finally offers to spend time with me. He says I can come live with him and his future wife in central California. NOW HE WANTS TO BE IN MY LIFE? WHO THE FUCK DOES THIS MAN THINK HE FUCKIN IS?!!?
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Oh. Were similar. But not about the dad part. My dad left me and my mom when I was three. And my stepdad came along two month later. I've spent time with my real dad and to be honest I don't like him one bit. Farmville and him racing his go-kart around in a cricket are his life. I lived with him fir two months. I moved back to my moms house a month ago. And my real da hasn't even tried to talk to me. I mean not even over facebook. I consider my stepdad my father. As far as Im concerned y biological father is dead to me. It sounds harsh but it's how I feel about him. I've been raised by my stepdad for twelve years.
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I always had to teach myself things n struggle through everythin which made me stronger than the rest. But usually too much things cone at me too fast. Which back when I didn't know how to deal with the stress I resulted to suicidal attempts (sadly I failed at them all lol idk how) anyways this man has always did what he could to stay away to prevent payin child support and despite all the shit I had to fucking go through cause I didn't have anyone there for me. I still had some kind of affection towards him. Idk if it's just me wanting to actually spend some time with him...but things are too much to forget n forgive. After years of not even callin to say hello or even a simple email...he finally calls...he finally offers to spend time with me. He says I can come live with him and his future wife in central California.
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NOW HE WANTS TO BE IN MY LIFE? WHO THE FUCK DOES THIS MAN THINK HE FUCKIN IS?!!? Why is it that NOW he wants to be apart of my life? After all those years of me in need of an actual father. Someone to give me the memories all my friends have of theirs...no campin...playin catch... NOTHING...I know I have told ppl things about my dad n I even mentioned em n a thread before but understand that was when I was like 8? All those years wasted away gettin calls sayin he was gonna pick me up so I can stay with him for the weekend ONLY TO WAIT OUTSIDE FOR HOURS AND FIND OUT HES PASSOUT ON HIS COUCH BACK AT HIS HOUSE. So tell me cuz I really can't think clearly right now...WHY now? Why does he wait til NOW to try to involve himself n my life? What should I do?
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Wait. Sorry. I didn't read the second part before I posted. I'm sorry about your dad. You could always pm any of us TW players and talk before committing suicide. It's not the answer.
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If you want him to be in your life but don't want to go live with him tell him. Just say hey dad I want you to be in my life but i don't want to change mine. Ask him if you two could go to a football game or somthin together.
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Hey don't do it you will leave behind so much. Life has doors go find them. Suicide is a cowards way out. And leaving that behind I've gone through the same stuff but I made the best of it. It takes a while but life will give you gifts you just gotta wait. Through life you gain many things through death you gain nothing but lose everything
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@: 💀TRAILERTRASH💀
that's kinda how I feel. I feel as if my step dad IS my dad yet I hate them both so much and with a passion for it. I mean it's just confusin to me that he's BARELY makin an effort instead of havin someone else tell me "HE SAID SOMETHIN"? He's dead to me yes but there's a side of me that for some reason I can't walk away from someone. One reason I never liked doin the breakin up with girls. Idk I just can't turn my back on someone I would stand there n "listen" but I won't contribute to the conversation.
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Also dude I'm adopted I found my mom and she said there's reasons I let you go and she hung up. Also don't hate him ask him why he left you ask why he did those things give him a chance my dad did that to me I asked why he mow asks he said that he was saving so I could have a fun real life. I was so happy he also said that he was scared about my awnser I bet he's scared of yours
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Wow. Man we would get along perfectly fine in life. I think you are my long lost twin. Haha! But if you REALLY want your reall dad to be in your life try giving him a phone call. Just ask him if you two could hang out some where or somthin!
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Add:🐮COW🐮 wrote:
I'm over that stage of my life but the stress and confusion is just too much to handleHey don't do it you will leave behind so much. Life has doors go find them. Suicide is a cowards way out. And leaving that behind I've gone through the same stuff but I made the best of it. It takes a while but life will give you gifts you just gotta wait. Through life you gain many things through death you gain nothing but lose everything
@TRAILERTRASH
u give a good point of view to see it but the main thing that's just gettin to me is after so much shit I mean the man even attacked me before. Idk if he was on drugs or drunk I was too young all I know was that u was bein beaten. But to put everythin aside to accept em back n my life? Y now? Besides livin with him isn't n the plans I made for myself -
No don't ask to live with him baby steps dude learn about his home what he does and get closer with him. And if he beat you don't ask why just don't live with him tell ur mom if she knows than idk what but you need to see why he did it and find a good source and see if he has problems. Act as if this man is new to you now learn everything
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Add:🐮COW🐮 wrote:
he basicly is new to me. Like I said I don't plan to live with him. But still I just want to know why would he have waited this long? N I'm sry about ur mom but u probably grew up pretty normal right? She probably just didn't want a kid. But my dad walked out on us. Always tellin me all these things to fill me up with so much false hope just to break me down.No don't ask to live with him baby steps dude learn about his home what he does and get closer with him. And if he beat you don't ask why just don't live with him tell ur mom if she knows than idk what but you need to see why he did it and find a good source and see if he has problems. Act as if this man is new to you now learn everything
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Hey think if your parents had troubles with marriage and they wanted a divorse think you were born at this time so it's not always just walkin out on you. It's hard raiding kids(although no exuse to leave). Maybe he loved you so much but he couldn't support you. Now he can and he wants to show you he cares.
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Add:🐮COW🐮 wrote:
but there's nothin that he can give to me to make up for so much stress. Here's just a picture of how stress out I was. I was stressed To the point that I had to dye my hair to hide all the silver hairs and my hair line started deceading. I was literally goin bald 🙍Hey think if your parents had troubles with marriage and they wanted a divorse think you were born at this time so it's not always just walkin out on you. It's hard raiding kids(although no exuse to leave). Maybe he loved you so much but he couldn't support you. Now he can and he wants to show you he cares.
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Believe it or not TT and cow u guys are actually helpin me. And u guys actually have calmed me down. As I was
writtin this I was actually cryin (it helps relieve stress) and now I'm clear eyed with only a mild headache -
Yes I'm really stressed as well it's preatty bad but how old r u though? And dude he has love for you he misses you. But admit to me what was the stress for. Do you think he walked off stress free? That probally y he left(sorry I hope I'm not angring you). You need to forgive him
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Add:🐮COW🐮 wrote:
if only there was enough time to tell u exactly everythin to cause so much stress and what has been brought cuz if his absence. I'm turnin 18 in October. Ur not angerin me dw I take talks like this into consideration of what I should do. But basicly let's just say I grew up too fast cuz of him. I've witnessed too much to ever forget. I've seen things that pop up n give meYes I'm really stressed as well it's preatty bad but how old r u though? And dude he has love for you he misses you. But admit to me what was the stress for. Do you think he walked off stress free? That probally y he left(sorry I hope I'm not angring you). You need to forgive him
nightmares makin me scream my head off cryin in the corner unaware that it was the past n everything fine. But let's just leave it like that cuz like I said. There'll never be enough time to say it all. -
Look, I have a lot of crap in my life too. But I have one solution or you: God. He will help you solve your problems. Jesu loves you; he died for you
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I'm glad I'm helped you calm down Primo. Send me a pm if ya ever want to talk about anythig. And I'm just gonna tell you that if you want your dad to be in your life give him a call and compromise
on a way youtwo could spend time together. I hope you get along with your dad in the future. -
HydroChaz wrote:
haha my mins the same way. Look I tried that too. I used to pray (is it pray or prey?) but things only escaladed and nothin ever got better for me n I basicly gave up on just believing n looked for proof of a god. But idk I'm not into religion anymore so far allLook, I have a lot of crap in my life too. But I have one solution or you: God. He will help you solve your problems. Jesu loves you; he died for you
I see is ways for churches to pick at ur wallets n war starters. Yes it works for most ppl n I respect ur choice but it's just not for me. -
Mins? MOM'S*
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I feel your pain I have been best friends with a guy who draws really well since 2nd grade. And then a guy barges in acting like he's the coolest guy in the world. I was alright if they were friends but then he starts to insult me and saying all this shit about how unpopular I am. This jackass convinced most of my friends abandon me... I used to hang out with my best friend every week and now he doesn't even talk to me...😿 but I've learned my lesson on who to trust and even as I speak am planning
My revenge..🙎 -
💀TRAILERTRASH💀 wrote:
TyI'm glad I'm helped you calm down Primo. Send me a pm if ya ever want to talk about anythig. And I'm just gonna tell you that if you want your dad to be in your life give him a call and compromise
on a way youtwo could spend time together. I hope you get along with your dad in the future. -
Add:🐮COW🐮 wrote:
Some guys feel like suicide Is the only way outHey don't do it you will leave behind so much. Life has doors go find them. Suicide is a cowards way out. And leaving that behind I've gone through the same stuff but I made the best of it. It takes a while but life will give you gifts you just gotta wait. Through life you gain many things through death you gain nothing but lose everything
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DDDD23 wrote:
haha how's that 😏I feel your pain I have been best friends with a guy who draws really well since 2nd grade. And then a guy barges in acting like he's the coolest guy in the world. I was alright if they were friends but then he starts to insult me and saying all this shit about how unpopular I am. This jackass convinced most of my friends abandon me... I used to hang out with my best friend every week and now he doesn't even talk to me...😿 but I've learned my lesson on who to trust and even as I speak am planning
My revenge..🙎 -
Primo Loco wrote:
Horrible... Misery loves companyDDDD23 wrote:
haha how's that 😏I feel your pain I have been best friends with a guy who draws really well since 2nd grade. And then a guy barges in acting like he's the coolest guy in the world. I was alright if they were friends but then he starts to insult me and saying all this shit about how unpopular I am. This jackass convinced most of my friends abandon me... I used to hang out with my best friend every week and now he doesn't even talk to me...😿 but I've learned my lesson on who to trust and even as I speak am planning
My revenge..🙎 -
DDDD23 wrote:
huh?Primo Loco wrote:
Horrible... Misery loves companyDDDD23 wrote:
haha how's that 😏I feel your pain I have been best friends with a guy who draws really well since 2nd grade. And then a guy barges in acting like he's the coolest guy in the world. I was alright if they were friends but then he starts to insult me and saying all this shit about how unpopular I am. This jackass convinced most of my friends abandon me... I used to hang out with my best friend every week and now he doesn't even talk to me...😿 but I've learned my lesson on who to trust and even as I speak am planning
My revenge..🙎 -
DDDD23 wrote:
it's a pain n the ass...n all over else but still...I've tried every single way I could think of...I suck at killin myself 😏Add:🐮COW🐮 wrote:
Some guys feel like suicide Is the only way outHey don't do it you will leave behind so much. Life has doors go find them. Suicide is a cowards way out. And leaving that behind I've gone through the same stuff but I made the best of it. It takes a while but life will give you gifts you just gotta wait. Through life you gain many things through death you gain nothing but lose everything
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Primo Loco wrote:
Well i mean it's horrible with only a few friends but you feel Better when people are facing the same miserable situation.DDDD23 wrote:
huh?Primo Loco wrote:
Horrible... Misery loves companyDDDD23 wrote:
haha how's that 😏I feel your pain I have been best friends with a guy who draws really well since 2nd grade. And then a guy barges in acting like he's the coolest guy in the world. I was alright if they were friends but then he starts to insult me and saying all this shit about how unpopular I am. This jackass convinced most of my friends abandon me... I used to hang out with my best friend every week and now he doesn't even talk to me...😿 but I've learned my lesson on who to trust and even as I speak am planning
My revenge..🙎
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