Turf Wars 1st Annual Joke Contest!
Forums › General Discussion › Turf Wars 1st Annual Joke Contest!-
Ok, do I decided I will have a joke contest every year starting this year. I am including a prize. The prize is 10 turf with your invite code on it!! Plus I will put your code at the the top of my comments section.
I will pick your best joke you post, to enter my contest. I will soon pick a date when the contest ends. Have fun!!! -
Have you heard the one with the no and the me either?
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🔎Ϯʜė IɴsǷeʗ†oŗ🔫 wrote:
No...(I know this one😜)Have you heard the one with the no and the me either?
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🔥Dφмιидтιφи🔥 wrote:
Me either.🔎Ϯʜė IɴsǷeʗ†oŗ🔫 wrote:
No...(I know this one😜)Have you heard the one with the no and the me either?
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That's not a troll face, it's a mirror...
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A fat woman is at the gynaecologist...
"Doctor, I'm not enjoying sex anymore"
"Well," says the Doctor "why don't you diet?"
"Oh... will that do any good? What colour do you suggest?" -
A US soldier is in Afghanistan. He is driving in an armored Humvee by himself. Suddenly he hits an IED and is blown onto the side of the road. He climbs out and after making sure it is safe he goes to see the damage. The doors on the right side are dented in, the mounted gun is blown off and the engine is damaged heavily.
He is all alone so he calls his command via his radio in the Humvee. He says, "I am alone in the desert a few clucks away from any other allied soldiers and I hit an IED that damaged my engine and I fear I might be stranded out here since there is no one nearby."
So command replies, "Ok for starters make sure it is safe in the area and second make sure you have no serious injuries."
So he checks both and there is no one in sight and he just gots some bruises amazingly. He tells command, "Ok I see no threats and I just have some bruises."
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"Ok, now make sure the engine is not working since it could blow if you try to start it after that IED explosion and put the radio near the engine so we can hear any unusual noises."
So then he puts the radio on the hood of the Humvee and goes behind a rock. He starts the engine from a wireless starter and there is an explosion.
"Ok, now what?" he replies to the radio shell that landed next to him.
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There's no such thing ad first annual. This is first EVER, not annual.
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(This one I heard from a 1st-3rd grader(not sure which))
What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?
Kids don't eat broccoli -
A woman walks into her bank for blondes, and askes for the banker to check her balance. The banker stands from his table and gives the woman a good shove. The woman stubles a bit and the banker tells her "Its not bad"
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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies?
--I dont have a Ferrari in my garage!
Lol jk -
What do you call a Mexican on a riding lawn mower. A promotion... Plz message me if I win
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How do blondes brain cells die? Alone
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Hey have you heard that joke they don't tell to dumb people?
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🔥⚡κrᎥااᎧא🔥 wrote:
Yeah, I have. It's pretty hilarious, FYI. I can't tell you what it is, though!Hey have you heard that joke they don't tell to dumb people?
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A pregnant woman falls into a deep coma after a car crash. When she wakes up she is in the hospital and realizes she is no longer pregnant. She sakes the doctor "where is my baby?". The doctor replies "you had twins! Your brother caned to name them"
The lady thinks not my brother he's a idiot! She askes the doctor what he named them.
"the girls name is deniece". She thinks its not horrible and asks the boys name. "denephew" -
Yo mamas so Asian, when she was asked "who I your son?", she said yes.
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*is
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What do you call a bunch of white people running down a hill? Avalanche. What do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill? Mudslide. What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill? Jailbreak!
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So a man is walking along a dirty dusty cracked rural road when he falls into a hole. He twists his ankle but is otherwise fine. He can't get out but eventually falls asleep. He dreams that he is getting into bed with his wife.... ( the dream continues...) Suddenly he wakes up and shouts: " I am in the hole!!"
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Three guys were competing to see who can get the drunkest. The next night the 1st guy says " I got so drunk that I went home with a hooker! The second guy says " I got so drunk that I blew chunks! The third guy says " I got so drunk that I burned my house down!" Then the third guy says " I guess I won." But the second guy says " No guys, don't understand. Chunks is my dog!"
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YOU wrote:
You don't understand*Three guys were competing to see who can get the drunkest. The next night the 1st guy says " I got so drunk that I went home with a hooker! The second guy says " I got so drunk that I blew chunks! The third guy says " I got so drunk that I burned my house down!" Then the third guy says " I guess I won." But the second guy says " No guys, don't understand. Chunks is my dog!"
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When I die, I want to go like my grandfather did- peacefully- not like the other passengers in his car. 🏢🚗😞😰😰😰
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What do you call a gay dinosaur? Mega-sore-ass
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A duck walks into a pub and walks up to the bar and says to the barman "got any bread?" the barman looks at the duck a little puzzled and says "sorry mate we only serve alcohol", the duck then repeats the question "got any bread?" the barman again replies "sorry I've already told you we only serve alcohol!" the duck looks at the barman and asks again "got any bread?" the barman is angry by now and tells the duck "listen fuckwit I've already told you we only serve alcohol, if I have to tell you again I'm gonna nail your bill to the top of the bar" the duck then asks "got any nails" the barman replies quickly "fucking NO" so the duck asks again "got any bread?"
Hahhahaha I love this joke. 😂
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A three legged dog walks into a saloon and says, "I'm looking for the man who shot my pa!"
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